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Rudolph's Big Night

Saturday Night Live 2018 Season 44 Episode 8

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

Santa makes the much-mocked Rudolph his lead reindeer on Christmas Eve, and the newly promoted underdog wastes no time turning the tables on the reindeer who teased him.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

In the reindeer locker room on Christmas Eve, the team laughs at Rudolph for hoping to fly and piles on jokes about his glowing nose. Santa arrives with news that the skies are too overcast for the trip, then realizes Rudolph's nose can light the way and names him lead reindeer to a round of cheers. As soon as Santa steps out, Rudolph turns on his old tormentors one by one: he brushes off Donner's congratulations, calls Blitzen's wife a moose and boasts of a fling with Cupid's wife. When Cupid threatens to report him, Rudolph yelps as if he has been hit, so Santa scolds Cupid instead. Rudolph then corners Comet over his maraschino-cherry crack, and after the scuffle ends with Rudolph claiming he was bitten, Santa leads Comet out of the room and a gunshot rings out. The rattled reindeer hurry to praise their new leader before Santa declares the show over and Rudolph strikes up his own theme song.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 8

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Yeah, the last thing we need up there is a stoplight.

Why would you hit me? I'm smaller than you!

Rudolph, you're the strongest reindeer I've ever seen.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Host Jason Momoa plays Santa Claus. SNL Archives casts Beck Bennett as Comet, Mikey Day as Cupid, Alex Moffat as Donner and Kyle Mooney as Blitzen, with Kenan Thompson and Chris Redd as unnamed reindeer.

ScriptEnglish · 68 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:02
All right, fellas. It's Christmas Eve, and I am ready to fly. Who's with me? Yeah!
00:10
Hey, why is Rudolph cheering?
00:12
Rudolph
Well, I guess I thought there was a chance, you know, I'd be on the team this year.
00:16
Donner
Keep Yeah, keep dreaming, neon nose.
00:21
Blitzen
Yeah, the last thing we need up there is a stoplight.
00:25
Yeah!
00:26
Comet
Or a maraschino cherry.
00:28
Oh!
00:29
Santa Claus
Oh-ho-ho-ho! Well, I just want to tell you about the weather report. and I'm sorry, but it's too overcast to fly. Christmas is canceled.
00:41
all, Oh,
00:45
Santa Claus
but wait. Rudolph, your nose. Well, you can guide us with that wonderful light. How about it, Rudolph?
00:51
Rudolph
You mean it, Santa?
00:52
Santa Claus
Oh, you bet I do. I'm appointing you lead reindeer. Christmas is saved. Let's hear it for Rudolph.
00:59
Hip, hip, hooray!
01:01
Rudolph
Gee, thanks, Santa. I won't let you down.
01:07
Rudolph
Well, well, well.
01:11
Donner
Congrats, Rudolph.
01:12
Rudolph
Oh, you can put that away, Donna. Or whatever your bitch-ass name is.
01:18
Donner
Rudolph.
01:19
Rudolph
Oh, it's Rudolph now. I thought it was Neon Nose.
01:23
Classic. Rudolph.
01:25
Rudolph
Oh, what's up, Lettsie? What did you call my nose? A stoplight? Oh, I like that. Making fun of someone else when you're married to a moose.
01:34
Blitzen
She's an elk.
01:35
Rudolph
Oh, she's a straight-up moose, and you need to know that.
01:39
Rudolph
Hey, what's up, Don? What's up? Santa hates you.
01:43
Harsh.
01:45
Cupid
Rudolph, we understand you're sore at us, but it was just a bit of healthy ribbing.
01:50
Rudolph
No, you shut your mouth, Cupid! All right, no one's talking to you. You want some healthy ribbing? Your wife dropped that dunk dinner on me last night.
01:57
Cupid
Okay, you're making that up.
01:59
Rudolph
No, we did it in front of a mirror. Yeah, she's one of those.
02:03
Cupid
Oh, my God! I'll knock that nose right off your face, Rudolph!
02:07
Hey, come on, Rudolph, man. We're sorry.
02:10
Rudolph
Yeah, I know you're sorry now, because I'll be flying out in front tonight, and I'm gonna eat a lot of broccoli.
02:15
Rudolph
Oh, good. Yeah, and enjoy a trip around the world.
02:18
Cupid
Well, I'm gonna tell Santa how you're behaving.
02:21
Rudolph
Oh, yeah? Well, let's get him in here.
02:23
Oh, my God.
02:24
Rudolph
Oh, ow, guy! Why would you hit me? I'm smaller than you.
02:29
Santa Claus
Cupid! Are you still bullying Rudolph?
02:32
Cupid
No, sir, I didn't touch him.
02:35
Rudolph
It's not their fault, sir. I'm the new guy. I deserve a little, you know, hazing.
02:39
Santa Claus
Rudolph, you're the strongest reindeer I've ever seen. You're skating on thin ice, Cupid.
02:47
Cupid
Oh, man.
02:50
Rudolph
Whoops.
02:51
Yo, you crazy, man?
02:53
Rudolph
Anyone else want to bully Rudolph?
02:55
No, man. We're so sorry.
02:56
Rudolph
Oh, well, if it isn't Mr. Maraschino Cherry Joe.
02:59
Comet
I don't want any trouble, man.
03:00
Rudolph
Oh, I've heard a lot of jokes about my nose, and that was a good one. You like maraschino cherries, bro?
03:06
Comet
Yeah.
03:07
Rudolph
You like the way they taste, bro? Why don't you suck on one?
03:10
Comet
Excuse me?
03:11
Rudolph
Suck on it, homie. Suck on the cherry in front of your face.
03:13
Comet
Rudolph, please.
03:15
Come on, do it, Comet! Do it! it! I didn't even know that! Oh, my goodness!
03:21
Rudolph
Ow! Ow! He bit me! I think he's rabid!
03:25
Santa Claus
Oh, I always knew this day would come.
03:28
Comet
Uh-oh! No, no, no! No, no, no! I swear, he's lying! He told me to suck it!
03:32
Santa Claus
Come with me, Comet.
03:34
Comet
Sir, you don't understand! He's evil! Isn't anybody gonna say anything?
03:37
Rudolph
Yeah! Isn't anyone gonna say anything?
03:40
Santa Claus
I'm sorry, pal. Ho, ho, ho!
03:42
No, he's not gonna do that. What's Rudolph, you are a monster! up?
03:49
No, really, though. Those were some funny jokes. Hilarious!
03:52
Rudolph
All right! Show's over. It's Christmas, folks.
03:57
Santa Claus
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
03:59
Rudolph
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Gang!