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Funeral Service
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
At the Larchmont Funeral Home, the widow of dentist David Green thanks the mourners before an awkward host brings out Rabbi Latonda Pierce, who cheerfully admits she only heard about the deceased twenty minutes earlier. Two of David's close friends, Dan Balance and Didi Douche, then take the microphones, explain that David was a gifted songwriter in his spare time, and perform his work in tribute. The songs prove to be explicit, pounding club tracks about sex, partying and shaking one's behind, leaving Mrs. Green bewildered while the mourner beside her coolly identifies the genre. When the host tries to wrap things up, the singers insist David would have wanted one more number, and by the end the rabbi is such a convert that she closes the service with a reprise of the butt song as the whole congregation dances.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 7
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
I was told about him 20 minutes ago, and I think I got the gist.
I didn't realize that your husband wrote deep club tracks.
Them songs was lit!
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Funeral Service was the final sketch of the March 11, 2017 episode, which marked Scarlett Johansson's fifth time hosting Saturday Night Live.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Mrs. Green
Thank you all for being here. My husband loved each and every one of you as a family member. I'm so moved as I look around the room and see all the people who were touched by my David.
- 00:13
Host
Oh, okay. There, there. Shh. Okay, now go. Go away. All right, everyone, now to say a few words, we will bring out the Honorable Rabbi Latonda Pierce.
- 00:25
Rabbi Latonda Pierce
Baruch Baruch Hashem. And blessings to all. Now, I didn't know David, but I was told about him 20 minutes ago, and I think I got the gist. At this time, two of his close friends have asked to sing a tribute. Please welcome Dan Balance and Dede Duche.
- 00:49
Dan Balance ?
-"Checkity, checkity, checkity, check. One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two."
- 00:52
Didi Douche ?
-"Tew, tew, tew, check, tew."
- 00:54
Didi Douche ?
-"Now, good morning. We met David in 1997, and a lot of you may not have known this, but he was much more than a dentist. He was also, in his spare time, a gifted songwriter.
- 01:06
Mourner ?
David wrote songs?
- 01:08
Mrs. Green ?
Not that I know of, but he did mention his friends Dan and Dee Dee a lot. I guess this is them.
- 01:14
Dan Balance ?
If it's all right, we'd like to share a song David wrote in remembrance of him.
- 01:22
How do you... -"Dumb da-dumb da-dumb day-ay-ay-ay." -"Dumb da-dumb da-dumb day-ay-ay-ay." -"How do you..." your sex? -♪ Hot -♪ How do you like your sex? -♪ Twice, serve it up, turn it out Work it up, shake it down Hunty -♪ Yeah -♪ Hunty -♪ Yeah -♪ Hunty -♪ Yeah -♪ Queens all around, looking for a sound Shaking that ass, making it pound Sexual freedom forever
- 01:51
Mourner
I didn't realize that your husband wrote deep -"Club tracks.
- 01:58
Mrs. Green ?
I didn't either.
- 02:00
Dan Balance ?
-"Forgive me. I miss you, my dear friend David."
- 02:03
Didi Douche ?
-"David really is a goddamn, because we will always have his music."
- 02:08
-"Boy -♪ This bitch is two-turned, her style is not current Her handbag has a plate tag and her busted look is burnt All the gay boys saying, Hey, yay, yay, yay. All the gay boys saying, hey, yay, yay, yay. Got a bump. Got a bump. Bathroom boss, it's happening tonight." What a piece. Sweet, -"Sweetsaving." -"Nice location."
- 02:35
Mourner ?
-"Very hardcore circuit tracks like stuff you wouldn't even hear in America."
- 02:41
Host
All right, thank you both. What a beautiful hidden gift David had.
- 02:45
Dan Balance ?
There is more.
- 02:46
Host ?
I mean, but do we really need to hear them? I mean, that's the question I'm wondering.
- 02:51
Dan Balance ?
I think David would have wanted y'all to hear this one.
- 02:54
-♪ Here is my butt as I lean against a wall I shake it up and down I pounce it all around, baby -♪ Here is my butt as I lean against a wall I drop it to the ground, baby -♪ Turn on the fan and watch your hair glow! -♪ Let it swell tight like a dug-a-yum-yum! -♪ Here is my bow, whoa, what! whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, my butt, yes!
- 03:22
Didi Douche ?
-♪ Mrs. Green, I hope that brought you some peace.
- 03:25
Rabbi Latonda Pierce
-♪ I gotta say, them songs was lit! Made me question my whole p... ...lose service today with just the butt song. One more time!
- 03:37
Never sung that!
- 03:38
-♪ Here in the air, football I shake it up and down I pump it all around I'm saying that Here in my book, I'm saying that Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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