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The Karate Teen
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A filmed spoof of 1980s karate-tournament movies. Jeffy Le'Hart, a lanky teen in a headband, faces defending champion Sammy Knox in the final round while an announcer narrates. Sammy cheats, mocks him and sends him sprawling, and Jeffy retreats to his sensei, Mr. Johnson, for training that consists of catching a penny and listening to the wind. Jeffy returns confident, but each exchange ends with Sammy launching him through a wall, then through four more and finally into a parked car in the garage outside, while the referee struggles to keep Sammy in check, the crowd gasps and Mr. Johnson grows frantic. The sketch keeps escalating the violence until Jeffy, bruised and half buried, is left to wonder how long he has been lying there.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
That'll teach you to take karate!
What the butt?
How the hell is he doing this?
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors.
- 00:02
Well it's almost over here at the San Fernando Valley Karate Championships.
- 00:05
Jeffy Lahart taking his licks in the final round against defending champion
- 00:10
and human freight train Sammy Knox of the Wolf Claw Dojo.
- 00:14
Fight!
- 00:17
All right, watch it, Nox. Keep it legal.
- 00:21
Oh, sorry, I got dork on the floor.
- 00:23
Ha-ha, yeah!
- 00:24
Wolf Claw! This kid's a virgin!
- 00:28
HA HA HA! YEAH!
- 00:30
THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO TAKE KARATE! HA HA! YEAH!
- 00:39
KILL HER! KILL HER! KILL
- 00:42
Catch only the pinning. Okay. Mr.
- 00:53
Mr.
- 00:55
Johnson that'll be impossible. I
- 00:57
won't be able to see. Listen to the wind.
- 01:01
I
- 01:12
I think
- 01:13
think you're ready.
- 01:14
Brave
- 01:17
After the sober, I'm going to have sex with that guy's girlfriend!
- 01:20
Ah, yeah!
- 01:21
And look at this.
- 01:23
Jeffy LaHart back on his feet.
- 01:25
I don't know if he's brave
- 01:26
or crazy?
- 01:27
Bad move, dweeb!
- 01:29
Four
- 01:34
What's he doing?
- 01:38
Yeah!
- 01:40
What the butt?
- 01:43
Yeah!
- 01:44
How the hell is he doing this?
- 01:48
Listen to the wind.
- 01:53
Oh!
- 01:55
Oh!
- 01:57
Oh!
- 02:01
Oh, my God.
- 02:03
Knox punched Jeffy LaHart out of his pants
- 02:05
and threw four
- 02:06
walls.
- 02:07
Yeah!
- 02:07
I just punched that kid through!
- 02:11
Knox!
- 02:11
No mercy!
- 02:12
Yeah!
- 02:13
Hey, Knox!
- 02:14
Is that all you got?
- 02:18
You got a death wish, dork!
- 02:28
No.
- 02:29
She don't know about...
- 02:32
A warrior is when a warrior gets knocked down.
- 02:37
He wins!
- 02:38
Oh!
- 02:41
Point, Knox!
- 02:43
Yeah!
- 02:43
I got a thing I gotta get to.
- 02:46
Well, unless Jeffy LaHart can get back up
- 02:49
from sailing through his fifth wall into a car door,
- 02:52
this looks like another victory for Wolfclaw Dojo.
- 02:56
What the hell?
- 02:58
Oh, my God, how long have I been out here?
- 03:01
What'd you do to my car?
- 03:02
You're gonna get it, you little fartwipe!
- 03:04
Wait.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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