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Cut for Time: Thanksgiving Foods
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In a sketch cut after dress rehearsal for Kristen Wiig's November 2016 episode, Wiig plays Wisten Kriig, a chipper host who tours her family's Thanksgiving spread from a plaid armchair. Each dish is a fresh disappointment or pun: the peas are a political joke, a turducken-style roast is an even stranger stack of animals, one pumpkin pie is a decoy, the mashed potatoes wear Mr. Potato Head's face, and the string beans have turned into a shoebox of licorice. Her adoptive father Marcus (Kenan Thompson), dressed as a pilgrim, chimes in from the side table, and her tuxedoed friend Russell (Bobby Moynihan) pops in to prove he is the biggest ham of all. When Wisten finally checks the oven, the turkey turns out to be a very live turtle.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
So these are just birth control pills painted green. Donald Trump can't take away what he can't find.
This is my ladle, but what I really need is to get ladle.
Oh, here's a wishbone. Let's see if it works. Nope, still alive.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
This sketch was cut after dress rehearsal for Kristen Wiig's November 19, 2016 episode.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:04
Wisten Kriig
Well, it's that time of year again. A time for thanks and a time for feasting. Let's see what our Thanksgiving table has in store for us this year. This is corn. The Native Americans call it maize. I just call it yum. These are homemade dinner rolls. Thanks, Panera Bread. I'm bad. this is a candied yam having fun I'm getting hungry how about you Marcus are you hungry
- 00:50
Marcus ?
yeah
- 00:53
Wisten Kriig
hey Marcus what's the cutoff age for the kids table again
- 00:57
Marcus ?
35
- 00:58
Wisten Kriig
seems like you push it up a a little bit every year, how about...
- 01:03
Marcus ?
Yeah. Yeah.
- 01:08
Wisten Kriig
Do you like peas? Not me. So these are just birth control pills painted green. Donald Trump can't take away what he can't find. Have you heard of turducken? This is kind of like that, but I guess the technical term for this would be ter-snake-dog. This is pumpkin pie. And this is pumpkin pie, right? Fool's pumpkin pie. Thanksgiving's a great time for family, isn't it, Marcus?
- 02:01
Marcus ?
Yeah.
- 02:02
Wisten Kriig
How did you say we're related again?
- 02:04
Marcus
I adopted you.
- 02:06
Wisten Kriig
Oh, that's right. right. These are mashed potatoes. I killed him. This is my ladle, but what I really need is to get ladle. It's been like a day. Ham. That's a pretty big ham, but the biggest ham is my friend, Russell. Show him, Russell.
- 02:44
Russell ?
Wait, wait, wait! Psh!
- 02:52
Wisten Kriig
This next one was supposed to be string beans, but seeing it now, I think it's just a shoebox full of Twizzlers. Took a wrong turn early, and it just snowballed. What you working on there, Marcus?
- 03:07
Marcus
I traced my hand, and I drew a turkey.
- 03:11
Wisten Kriig
This is a gravy bowl. It's almost too clever. Time to check the turkey. Turkey, turkey, turkey, it's my favorite. I'm gonna check this turkey in the oven. Mmm. Just a few more minutes. Hope it's not gonna be too dry this year. Oh, here's a wishbone. Let's see if it works. Nope. Still alive. Mmm. Stuffing martinis. Yes, please. Happy Thanksgiving, Marcus.
- 04:24
Marcus ?
Happy Thanksgiving, daughter.
- 04:25
Wisten Kriig ?
Happy Thanksgiving, Russell.
- 04:30
Happy Thanksgiving! From Marcus Russell and Whiston Finn.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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