Dance of the Snowflakes

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:01
   

   Gene Halderman

   Good evening. Welcome to Dearborn Community Playhouse's first annual holiday pageant. Thank you. My name is Gene Walderman. A lot of you may know me as your doctor, but tonight I'm just one of the performers in the show you're about to see. This show is the culmination of a lot of hard work and a lot of sacrifice, and we're really proud of it so now without further ado please enjoy the dance of the snowflakes

2. 00:31
   

   Gene Halderman

   is Oh no, is this dumb is this so dumb oh Oh god everyone my wife's here and everyone from work do they think this is dumb maybe I'm overthinking this everyone else seems to be smiling

3. 01:11
   

   Dancer

   oh is Is this really dumb? It is, isn't it? At least Annette's into it.

4. 01:22
   

   Annette

   This is humiliating. How can a person be so sure something is great for two months and then, in a split second, know the exact opposite is true? Huh. Edgar still likes this.

5. 01:39
   

   Edgar

   Holy f***! What the hell am I doing up here? I'm a 48-year-old black snowflake my wife cannot like this I

6. 01:55
   

   Gene Halderman

   I paid a man $3,500 to tape this I was excited to watch it back

7. 02:01
   

   Dancer

   my grandma flew in for this she brought me flowers I don't deserve flowers I deserve a slap in the face

8. 02:10
   

   Annette

   my My sister is getting married right now. And I chose to be here. Oh, kill me. Just put a bullet in my skull.

9. 02:22
   

   Edgar

   My wife's never going to want to see my penis again, especially not since it's been bunched up in this tight-ass unitard. I really got to stuff it in there, too. I have to fold it. Oh, god, now I'm thinking about my penis. Oh, it's getting a boner. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got to turn around.

10. 02:48
    

    Gene Halderman

    I just had new business cards printed. Now they say Gene Halderman, doctor slash dancer. What the hell was I thinking?

11. 02:58
    

    Dancer

    On the way here, I hit a man with my car. I didn't stop because I thought this was more important. But this is nothing.

12. 03:08
    

    Edgar

    Oh, man. There's a guy in the audience in a wheelchair. chair i feel like he's looking at me like thank god my legs can't do that i don't know my bonus back what for why

13. 03:20
    

    Annette

    backstage we decided to dedicate this show to nelson mandela he doesn't want that

14. 03:29
    

    Gene Halderman

    you know what maybe this is good yeah this is good

15. 03:34
    

    Annette

    we worked hard on this i'm proud out.

16. 03:37
    

    Dancer

    I think people definitely like this.

17. 03:41
    

    Edgar

    Everyone's smiling. We did a good job.

18. 03:51

    OH, NO! MY BONUS BELL!

19. 04:10

    We'll be right back.