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Scary Ski Lift

Saturday Night Live1993Season 19Episode 10
Saturday Night LiveSNL
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A first-time visitor sharing a ski-resort chairlift with a chatty stranger realizes, sixty feet above the snow, that his seatmate is dangerously unhinged.

Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Riding a chairlift up the mountain, skier Roy Stone makes polite small talk with the man sharing his chair, who keeps calling him by a different wrong name and turns every harmless question into a veiled threat. The stranger badgers Roy for gum he doesn't have, says he lives in the surrounding woods and hints that he started last year's forest fire, and praises an expert trail before admitting he has never skied a day in his life. He then lifts the safety bar and refuses to lower it while a nervous Roy reminds him of state law, cheerfully quizzing him about his family and job and ignoring the answers. Announcing that it's time to get off, he shoves Roy out of the chair, wishes him a happy birthday and settles in alone, finally offering a piece of gum to the empty seat.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 2

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

If I had a nickel for every time somebody asked me that, you'd be a dead man, Tony.

Ah, six and three, that's a tough age. Diapers, 3 a.m. feedings, the blood.

Well, say hi to Neil Armstrong for me.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

SNL Archives places Ski Lift as the final sketch of the January 8, 1994 episode, airing just before the goodnights.

ScriptEnglish · 55 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:09

    Roy Stone ?

    Skiing by yourself today?

  2. 00:11

    Skier ?

    Yeah, I am.

  3. 00:13

    Roy Stone ?

    Well, thanks for letting me share the lift up with you.

  4. 00:15

    Skier ?

    No problem.

  5. 00:17

    Roy Stone ?

    Nice day, huh?

  6. 00:19

    Skier ?

    Yeah, it's beautiful. Way too cold, though.

  7. 00:22

    Roy Stone ?

    It's a little nippy.

  8. 00:25

    Skier ?

    True skiers love cold weather, Frank.

  9. 00:29

    Roy Stone ?

    Actually, my name is Roy. You staying here at the resort?

  10. 00:34

    Skier ?

    Boy, if I had a nickel for every time somebody asked me that, you'd be a dead man, Tony.

  11. 00:38

    Roy Stone ?

    Uh, Tony it it's Roy. I'm Roy Stone.

  12. 00:44

    Skier ?

    Nice to meet you, Roy. First time here?

  13. 00:46

    Roy Stone ?

    Yes, it is.

  14. 00:48

    Skier ?

    So what brought you back? Was it the powder or the ski bunnies, huh?

  15. 00:53

    Roy Stone ?

    Actually, it's my first time. I didn't think it was the powder.

  16. 01:00

    Roy Stone ?

    Boy, the view is incredible up here, isn't it?

  17. 01:02

    Skier ?

    Yeah. What view?

  18. 01:05

    Roy Stone ?

    Well, they say you can see four states from up here.

  19. 01:08

    Skier ?

    Well, they say a lot of things, Johnny. But they always leave out the most important thing.

  20. 01:12

    Roy Stone ?

    Yeah, what's that?

  21. 01:13

    Skier ?

    That's my business, Jake. I said you could ride up with me, not interrogate me. Got any gum?

  22. 01:22

    Roy Stone ?

    No.

  23. 01:22

    Skier ?

    Can I have a piece?

  24. 01:25

    Roy Stone ?

    I said I didn't have any.

  25. 01:27

    Skier ?

    Well, maybe later you'll get off your high horse.

  26. 01:31

    Roy Stone ?

    Look, I said I did not have any gum, pal. You want to just give me a break?

  27. 01:35

    Skier ?

    You know, I live in these woods.

  28. 01:37

    Roy Stone ?

    Really?

  29. 01:38

    Skier ?

    Yeah. Remember that big forest fire they had last year?

  30. 01:41

    Roy Stone ?

    Yeah, that was horrible.

  31. 01:42

    Skier ?

    Yeah, it was me.

  32. 01:46

    Roy Stone ?

    That was you what?

  33. 01:48

    Skier ?

    Yeah. That's my favorite run right over there. Snowscar. Expert trail. I could ski that baby all day long.

  34. 01:56

    Roy Stone ?

    You spend a lot of time on the slope, do you?

  35. 01:59

    Skier ?

    Never skied a day in my life.

  36. 02:02

    Roy Stone ?

    Okay.

  37. 02:04

    Skier ?

    Help! No more safety bar!

  38. 02:07

    Roy Stone ?

    Uh, you're not supposed to do that. It's a state law, actually.

  39. 02:11

    Skier ?

    Well, today we do. Change your mind about that gum yet?

  40. 02:16

    Roy Stone ?

    All right. Easy there, fella. Okay? Hey. Hey. Hey, all right, okay.

  41. 02:24

    Skier ?

    What are you worried about, huh? Not that high off the ground.

  42. 02:29

    Roy Stone ?

    We're about 60 feet off the ground.

  43. 02:31

    Skier ?

    Exactly my point. Here with the family?

  44. 02:33

    Roy Stone ?

    Okay, let's put the bar down, friend, and then we'll talk.

  45. 02:38

    Skier ?

    Okay, that's strike two. Okay, don't make me madder than I already am. So how old are the kids?

  46. 02:43

    Roy Stone ?

    Jennifer is six and Sean is three.

  47. 02:44

    Skier ?

    Ah, six and three, that's a tough age. Diapers, 3 a.m. feedings, the blood.

  48. 02:49

    Well, any of you, Dave, my kids are very, very... I don't have any kids.

  49. 02:54

    Skier ?

    So, how do you support this brood? You look to me like an astronaut.

  50. 02:58

    Roy Stone ?

    Actually, I'm an attorney.

  51. 02:59

    Skier ?

    Well, say hi to Neil Armstrong for me.

  52. 03:03

    Roy Stone ?

    Okay.

  53. 03:03

    Skier ?

    Well, time to get off.

  54. 03:04

    Roy Stone ?

    What are you doing?

  55. 03:05

    Skier ?

    All right, there you go. Happy birthday to you. Oh, boy, I love skiing. Care for some gum, Roy? Roy?

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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