Christmas in New England

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:01

   With the Christmas season upon us, we all have fond memories. Here with us now to share some of his is Kevin Nealon.

2. 00:10
   

   Himself

   I grew up in a little storybook town in Connecticut, which was great, especially during the holidays.

3. 00:16
   

   Himself

   Christmas Eve, you're walking through the town square, everything's decorated, snow is crunching under your feet,

4. 00:22
   

   Himself

   Christmas decorations everywhere, Christmas music.

5. 00:26
   

   Himself

   Can you picture that?

6. 00:28
   

   Himself

   Ah, it's a nice feeling.

7. 00:29
   

   Himself

   I miss it.

8. 00:32
   

   Himself

   Cute little gift shop over here. It's all decorated.

9. 00:35
   

   Himself

   The owner's home with his family, right?

10. 00:37
    

    Himself

    So you break in, you take whatever you want.

11. 00:41
    

    Himself

    Doesn't matter. It's the holidays, you know?

12. 00:43
    

    Himself

    You see your house way down the street, you could just about make it out.

13. 00:47
    

    Himself

    That's your house, okay.

14. 00:49
    

    Himself

    It's all decorated, little red and blue lights all around it.

15. 00:53
    

    Himself

    You get a little closer, you realize those are police cars

16. 00:55
    

    Himself

    taking your father away for shoplifting.

17. 00:59
    

    Himself

    But it doesn't matter. It's the holidays, you know?

18. 01:01
    

    Himself

    it's just a nice feeling over the river and through the woods that's the way my

19. 01:06
    

    Himself

    grandmother used to drive

20. 01:07
    

    Himself

    and you get home yeah you get up on a porch and you smell those fresh

21. 01:14
    

    Himself

    gingerbread men and they stink cuz your mother can't bake for nothing you know

22. 01:19
    

    Himself

    it's cozy inside though little fire going no fireplace just a little fire

23. 01:26
    

    Himself

    your sister was smoking in bed so you put her out there's hot chocolate on the

24. 01:32
    

    Himself

    the stove not in a pot just dried up on the stove so you scrape it off you put it in a pot and you

25. 01:39
    

    Himself

    heat it up a couple marshmallows pour it into your favorite mug you sit back and you drink it

26. 01:46
    

    Himself

    and you burn the hell out of the roof of your mouth and for the next few days you're playing

27. 01:50
    

    Himself

    with a little piece of skin with your tongue huh oh i missed that there's a fruitcake on the table

28. 01:59
    

    Himself

    his name's Steven and

29. 02:03
    

    Himself

    And he's excited. Everybody's excited,

30. 02:05
    

    Himself

    because it's the holidays, you know?

31. 02:06
    

    Himself

    And you want to go to bed, because you want to wake up

32. 02:08
    

    Himself

    and open up those presents.

33. 02:09
    

    Himself

    So you climb into your pajamas, you crawl into bed,

34. 02:11
    

    Himself

    and you're all snug, and you can't sleep, right?

35. 02:14
    

    Himself

    Because it's only about 3 in the afternoon.

36. 02:17
    

    Himself

    So you get up.

37. 02:18
    

    Himself

    You sneak some of your father's whiskey.

38. 02:21
    

    Himself

    You drink it, and now you get visions

39. 02:23
    

    Himself

    of sugar plums dancing in your head.

40. 02:26
    

    Himself

    You go back to bed,

41. 02:27
    

    Himself

    and the room starts spinning around

42. 02:29
    

    Himself

    like crazy.

43. 02:29
    

    Himself

    crazy and you start throwing up on our sheets and everything. Oh, I miss that. But you know

44. 02:37
    

    Himself

    something? We forget the most important thing about Christmas because, you know, we get hung

45. 02:42
    

    Himself

    up and shopping and visiting relatives and, you know, eating and everything. We forget the most

46. 02:46
    

    Himself

    important thing and that's to save your receipts. Have a Merry Christmas.