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Book Beat: House of the Seven Corpses
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
Host Bob McBain welcomes two mystery writers to Book Beat, only to reveal that both have published a thriller called The House of the Seven Corpses. Gregory Malton explodes, insisting that Morris Pew has been copying his work for years, while Pew calmly concedes that the title and most of the chapters match but denies any theft. Before the argument can be settled, a silver-suited visitor from the year 2096 barges onto the set demanding to know where Julia Louis-Dreyfus is. The panel points him backstage, where he finds her, makes her hold a gadget over her head and, in a gag that has aged poorly, uses the moment to grope her before departing satisfied.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 5
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
The title is the same, granted. Chapters 2 through 12 are identical. I'll give you that.
I've come from the future, from the year 2096. I've been watching your show in reruns.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
This was the last of the four Book Beat installments that SNL Archives lists between October 1983 and December 1984. Midway through, it is interrupted by that night's time-traveler bit, with host Ed Begley Jr. in a silver space suit.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Bob McBain
Hello, Hello, everybody. Welcome to BookBeat. I'm Bob McBain, and tonight's show should be really quite interesting. We have two authors with us. This is Gregory Malton. He's written a terrific new mystery thriller entitled The House of the Seven Corpses. And this is Morris Pugh. He's also written a mystery thriller also called The House of the Seven Corpses.
- 00:32
Gregory Malton
I'll kill him. I'll kill him. I'll kill him! He stole my book!
- 00:35
Bob McBain
Hold it. Hold it. Relax. Settle down, Mr. Moulton. Now, gentlemen, I did look over the books last night, and I did happen to notice that they're almost identical.
- 00:46
Morris Pew ?
Oh, what a coincidence.
- 00:48
Gregory Malton ?
Coincidence. Come on, this guy's been doing this for years. Every time I publish a book, he puts his name on it and then publishes it himself. This is the fifth book he's stolen from me.
- 01:00
Bob McBain
Your response, Mr. Pugh?
- 01:03
Gregory Malton ?
Oh, you little weasel! Come here! Come here!
- 01:06
Morris Pew
Look, I didn't steal his book. Now, I'll admit there are some similarities. All right, the title is the same, granted. Chapters 2 through 12 are identical. I'll give you that. He's crazy. I tell you, ask him about his other books.
- 01:23
Gregory Malton ?
Ask him about the book he wrote, The Tale of Two Cities. Took me months to write that one.
- 01:27
Oh, munch.
- 01:30
Time Traveler
What you What year is this? What is this? What year is it?
- 01:35
Bob McBain ?
Well, it's 1984.
- 01:37
Time Traveler
Perfect. Perfect. And this is NBC in New York, right?
- 01:40
Yeah. Why? What's going on?
- 01:42
Time Traveler
OK. I've come from the future, from the year 2096. I've been watching your show in reruns, OK? I've been traveling 112 years through time. I'm looking for a young lady. Don't you dare touch this. I've been looking for a young lady, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Have you seen her?
- 01:59
Julia? Why?
- 02:01
Time Traveler
Because. Because. That's between Julia and I. I cannot tell you. I must find her. Do you know where she is?
- 02:05
Gregory Malton ?
Well, yeah. She's probably, she's not in the sketch. She's probably backstage. She just threw in the sketch. Why don't you go backstage?
- 02:10
Time Traveler
Never mind. I'll find her. Julia! Where are you? You'll not hide from me. Julia. Where is she? Where's Julia? You'll not hold out on me. Julia! Julia. This is very important. important. I've watched your show on reruns. I've traveled 112 years back through time. You must hold this piece of equipment, all right? Hold it, above your head, right now. Good.
- 02:37
Time Traveler ?
All right, I did it, huh? Pretty good.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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