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Poetry Class
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Several students use their poetry assignments to express their attraction to the professor. He responds with detached advice about emotional clarity, syllable counts and clichés, until a male student’s contribution makes his composure collapse.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 5
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Haikus are five, seven, five.
All right, but we're keeping the door open.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Professor Hume
Naked, you are as small and delicate as your palm. Curved within the sunlight pink, you will always be mine.
- 00:10
Oh, God.
- 00:12
Professor Hume
Yes. Yes, Penelope.
- 00:15
Penelope
Oh, nothing, Professor Hume. Oh, God.
- 00:20
Professor Hume
All right, let's hear your assignments. Who would like to begin?
- 00:23
Oh, me.
- 00:25
Professor Hume
Alison.
- 00:29
Alison
My poem is entitled, My Poetry Professor. I sit in your classroom wondering if you'll ever hear me say I love you poetry professor by the clear light of the sea I wonder will you ever hear me say I love you poetry professor by the warm light of a candle I wonder will you ever hear me say I love you poetry professor
- 00:57
Professor Hume
Nice.
- 01:00
Alison
Thank you, Poetry Professor, I mean, Professor Hume.
- 01:05
Professor Hume
Alison, you seem to be going for something on an emotional level. I don't get it. Try and connect with your subject a little more, okay?
- 01:15
Alison
Okay, I'll try.
- 01:18
Ah.
- 01:19
Lindsay
My My poem is a height. poem is a haiku.
- 01:25
Professor Hume
Great.
- 01:26
Lindsay
Thank you, Professor Hume. my love for you melts like a spring snow in the garden i love you i love you professor
- 01:40
Professor Hume
Lindsay, there were too many syllables. Haikus are five, seven, five. Yes, Penelope.
- 01:53
Penelope
I want you so bad, poetry professor. I want you to slam me so hard, my luscious poetry professor. You make me so hot. Ooh, I'm the sassy preacher and you're the poetry teacher. I am burning to perform steamy, sensuous acts of lust and passion with you, poetry professor. Take me down! take me right here, in front of the whole class, Professor Hume. Oh, God.
- 02:28
Professor Hume
Nice. One too many clichés, I think. Let's hear from one of the fellows, shall we? Angus.
- 02:39
Angus
My poem is entitled, It's Over.
- 02:43
Professor Hume
Oh.
- 02:49
Angus
Poetry professor, you've taught me many things of passion and of lust. But now me wife waits for me, and I must go back to her and beg her forgiveness. It's over, poetry professor.
- 03:06
Professor Hume
Okay. Fine. I'm sorry, I have something caught in my eye.
- 03:15
Professor Hume
Um, you know what, class is dismissed early today. Angus, uh, could I speak with you for a moment to discuss your poem? Surely you owe me that, don't you, Angus?
- 03:30
Angus
All right, but we're keeping the door open.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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