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Gangsta Standoff
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In a dark alley, two gang members press pistols to each other's heads and trade ever more elaborate threats, until one vows to give the other a vampire-style C-section straight out of Twilight. That reference stops everything: both turn out to love the saga, and when they name their favorite on a count of three they both pick Edward. Amazed that they think exactly alike, they declare themselves best friends on the spot. A cheerful montage follows the friendship through picnics, arcade shooting games, a swimming pool and a road trip, with each still keeping a gun trained on the other. Decades later the pair rock side by side on a porch as old men, laughing over a story until one dies; the other rasps out a last tribute to Team Edward and dies too. Two police officers stroll up, survey the bodies and smugly write the scene off as one more gang killing.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Then go right ahead and test the hypothesis and see what happens.
So I guess we friends then.
Looks like another gang-related killing.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Peter Atencio
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The Season 2 episode that aired on November 21, 2012 takes its title, "Gangsta Standoff," from this sketch.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:08
Gang Member ?
What? What, what, what, what, what? Check yourself before I body-pierce your damn skull.
- 00:14
Gang Member ?
Think you can pull that trigger before I blow your personality out the back of your head? Then go right ahead and test the hypothesis and see what happens.
- 00:20
Gang Member ?
All right, I'm going to give you a straight-up vampire C-section like we was Edward and Bella.
- 00:27
Gang Member ?
Hold up. You like Twilight?
- 00:30
Gang Member ?
Yeah, I like Twilight . You like Twilight?
- 00:35
Gang Member ?
Twilight's my jam.
- 00:38
Gang Member ?
You and Edward go and take a .
- 00:41
Gang Member ?
Answer that together. Three, two, one.
- 00:44
Gang Member ?
Edward!
- 00:45
Gang Member ?
Oh, shit.
- 00:47
Gang Member ?
Are you with me?
- 00:48
Gang Member ?
Are you with me?
- 00:50
Gang Member ?
You either playing some up game or you are straight up inside my head.
- 00:53
Gang Member ?
Yo, and when you said you was gonna blow my personality out the back of my head, I'm like, that sounds like some I would say.
- 01:01
Gang Member ?
And now there's twilight wavelength .
- 01:04
Gang Member ?
So I guess we friends then.
- 01:05
Gang Member ?
Are we best friends now? We the best of friends.
- 01:08
Gang Member ?
BFFs?
- 01:09
Gang Member ?
We are BFFs, MF!
- 01:11
What's when I'm with you. It's heaven when you're around. La, la, la, la.
- 01:51
Gang Member ?
No, you didn't, man. No, you didn't. That is crazy. That's the craziest all of this? Oh, it's too much, boy.
- 02:17
Gang Member ?
Team... Edward.
- 02:26
Oh, crap.
- 02:28
Cop ?
Looks like another gang-related killing.
- 02:34
Cop ?
Surprise's a mother prize. PRIZE!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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