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Finding a New Home Is Hard
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
Jordan (Jordan Peele) and his partner Keira (Eileen Hsi) arrive to view a cheap apartment because they have heard the neighborhood is turning around. Their landlord (Keegan-Michael Key), a jittery man in a lavender outfit with a cane, greets them swinging it at the door and then shows off the vintage windows, new cupboards and original floors, interrupting himself to scream threats at a car outside, to hand Jordan a gun with the serial number filed off, and to throw everyone to the floor when he thinks his nephew is driving back. A bullet hole in the fresh paint becomes a cheerful story, and a squatter in the bedroom has to be wrestled out before the landlord calmly runs through the deposit terms. Alone for a moment, the couple reveals the neighborhood may suit them after all.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Besides, I mean, people say the neighborhood's turning around.
Okay, baby, let's hit this rock real quick.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Keira
What are we doing in this neighborhood?
- 00:03
Jordan
Come on. This place is in our price range. Besides, I mean, people say the neighborhood's turning around.
- 00:09
Landlord
Who the is it?
- 00:11
Jordan
It's Jordan and Kira. We're here to view the apartment at 3.
- 00:18
Landlord
Oh, . My bad. I had this homeless crackhead trying to set up house in here yesterday. Almost had to beat his ass. But y'all ain't got nothing to worry about, because anybody try to get up in here, I will murder them. Let me give y'all the tour. All right, so we got these vintage windows. They've been here as long as the building been here. Oh, . Get away from the window! Get away from the window! I Hey! Hey! You mother ! I see you out there. You get out that car, and I will murder you! That's what I thought. So roll on, little . Roll on. My nephew Craig, you're a good kid. He smoked crack, though. It's just in case he come back.
- 01:08
Jordan
Uh-huh?
- 01:08
Landlord
Now, I filed a serial number off there. So if you got to shoot anybody, just make sure to wipe your fingerprints off this . Well, come on, y'all. I ain't going to bite you. Brand-new cupboards. I put the contact paper in myself here so y'all don't get no germs. Get down! Oh, sorry. All right. Uh, ain't no thang. I thought Craig was rolling back. I ain't getting shot by this twice, damn. While we down here, check this out. Original hardwood floor from when the building was built. Check out this green, brother. Ooh, that is craftsmanship. Anyway, come on. This paint is all new. Oh, . Okay, this happened after I had painted. Funny story. We got crackheads in this neighborhood, and one of them living right next door here, right? And one day, he was smoking crack, just went Looney Tunes, and mistook his 9mm, that's a pistol, honey, for the remote control. But don't worry, you ain't never gonna see him again. Ain't nobody ever gonna see him. Again. plus Plus, I'm going to put a fancy little hook in there and turn it into a hat rack. Now, let's take a look at this bedroom. What the ?
- 02:32
Squatter
I ain't found this place first! Found it, man! I own this place!
- 02:37
Landlord
Can y'all give me a second?
- 02:38
Ah! Ah! Ah!
- 02:40
Landlord
You'll bite me, mother !
- 02:42
Ah!
- 02:43
Squatter
I will cut you with my sword, Kane!
- 02:45
Ah! Ah!
- 02:49
Landlord
So that's going to be first month and last month rent, one month security deposit, I'll get the paperwork started.
- 03:01
Jordan
OK, baby, let's hit this rock real quick.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Key & Peele.
