White People Dancing

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00
   

   Dave Chappelle

   Hey gang, you know all my life I've heard that white people can't dance. I don't believe that. I don't think it's so much that white people can't dance, it's just that they like certain musical instruments. That instrument my friends is electric guitar. It speaks directly to the soul of the white person. They find it irresistible.

2. 00:21
   

   Dave Chappelle

   Now with me as you can see is my good friend John Mayer.

3. 00:23
   

   John Mayer

   How are you?

4. 00:24
   

   Dave Chappelle

   And we're going to test this theory this afternoon. You ready?

5. 00:28
   

   John Mayer

   I'm ready.

6. 00:29

   Let's do it. Let's go.

7. 00:31
   

   Dave Chappelle

   It's my personal theory that when white people hear electric guitar, they cannot resist the urge to dance, no matter where they are. Now, me and John went to different locations and put this theory to the test.

8. 00:43

   Speaker 1

   And the shares could be, we could up them to about another 22%.

9. 00:50
   

   Dave Chappelle

   Okay, folks, here we are in a corporate boardroom. You can see people behind us working in the bullpens, and right now a meeting is in progress. Chris, we want to see what happens when you play electric guitar in the most professional of settings. Ready, John?

10. 01:05
    

    John Mayer

    Yeah, I'm ready.

11. 01:06
    

    Dave Chappelle

    Okay, cool.

12. 01:07

    Speaker 2

    Come on, let's get out of here.

13. 01:42
    

    Dave Chappelle

    Okay, we've seen how white people respond to guitar music at work. Now we're in a chic Manhattan restaurant. It's lunchtime, the business crowd is here, a lot of Bush votes in the room. Let's see how the conservative crowd acts when they hear guitar music while they're eating.

14. 02:00
    

    Dave Chappelle

    John, play the fight riff! Play it!

15. 02:26
    

    Dave Chappelle

    Enjoy your lunch, everybody.

16. 02:38
    

    Dave Chappelle

    Every experiment needs a control. Now, right now, me and John are in a barber shop in Harlem. Everyone here is either black or Latino. Let's see how electric guitar works on them. Ready, John?

17. 02:51
    

    John Mayer

    Yeah.

18. 02:52
    

    Dave Chappelle

    Okay.

19. 02:53

    Okay, go. Go.

20. 02:54
    

    Dave Chappelle

    That went pretty much how I expected. Now, let's see how the blacks respond to drums. Bums. Questlove, gangbusters.

21. 04:15
    

    Dave Chappelle

    But I still happen to notice some of the Latin people were nodding their heads, but they weren't really feeling it as much as I thought they would. But I think I got the remedy.

22. 04:24
    

    Dave Chappelle

    What would happen if I incorporated within that an electric piano? Sanchez, go!

23. 05:06
    

    Dave Chappelle

    Hey guys, have a good day.

24. 05:07
    

    Dave Chappelle

    So what have we learned, gang? We learned that white people can dance if you play what they like, electric guitar. Of course, we the blacks can't resist drums and latins love congos and electric piano with spanish gibberish over it I guess so next time someone says that someone from another race can't dance you tell me

25. 05:29

    Speaker 3

    a permit

26. 05:29

    Speaker 3

    Excuse me. You have to have a permit to shoot out here, and we will find you

27. 05:34
    

    Dave Chappelle

    John do something quick

28. 05:56

    Speaker 4

    Hey, my man, how do you know that song?

29. 05:58
    

    Dave Chappelle

    I'm from the suburbs, man. I can't help it.

30. 06:00

    I feel so much.