You're tuned to the good stuff
Old School v New School Rap
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A crowd gathers in a dim warehouse for a grime clash, and the host calls up an unlikely new challenger: Curtis, a curly-haired MC in a top hat, red jacket and gold chains who seems to have stepped straight out of the early 1980s. His opponent goes first with menacing bars about being a king who will smoke his rival and should be worshipped. Unfazed, Curtis cheerfully answers with a counting rhyme lifted from the nursery, then launches into an upbeat routine of party-rap boasts, sugary tea and Christmas mistletoe, finishing with some fancy footwork. The hardened crowd looks on bemused, with the odd burst of laughter, while Curtis appears thoroughly pleased with himself.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 1
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
In fact, you should worship me like beads upon a rosary.
One, two, buckle my shoe. Three to the four, get on the floor.
Christmas time comes once a year. It's the time to give good cheer.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Ben Taylor
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Released on Channel 4 Comedy's YouTube channel as "Old School vs. New School Rap"; British Comedy Guide lists it among the videos for series 2, episode 3, the episode that introduced Curtis.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:03
Speaker 1 ?
All right, a new contender up today. Curtis, where you at, fam?
- 00:07
Curtis ?
Excuse me. Here we go. Excuse me.
- 00:09
Yeah. Let's go. Come on. No way. Set it off.
- 00:18
Speaker 2 ?
He's supposed to be standing in front of us all opposing me. I'm a king, and you're a foe to me. You're never coming close to me. Smoke you like a reefer. I'm the fire. You're the crow to me. In fact, you should worship me like beads upon a rosary. Oh!
- 00:35
That's going to be a hard one to come back from.
- 00:37
Curtis ?
That's okay. Here we go. Are you ready for this? Are you ready? Hit it. One, two, buckle my shoe. Three to the four, get on the floor. Five, six, get your rhythm sticks. Seven, eight, nine, ten, let's go again. I said lay on five, on the side. Up above, down below. Sorry, but you're too slow to lay on five.
- 01:05
Yo, Your body didn't want some...
- 01:08
Curtis ?
I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast But I'm like hot butter on one So I'm smooth to the groove and good enough to eat I take my tea with two shinders, just like me, it's sweet Christmas time comes once a year It's the time to give good cheer Kisses under the mistletoe Look out the window, it's starting to snow
- 01:27
Who's supposed to be standing?
- 01:29
Curtis ?
Ladies, in the place to be I'm a lover, man, it's plain to see I move from the east, I move from the west When it comes to good lovin', I'll pass the task
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Cardinal Burns.
