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Baby Steps

Cardinal Burns2014Season 2Episode 5
Cardinal Burns
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A passer-by helps a mother carry her pushchair down a long flight of steps, only to find the baby inside is a grown man determined to make small talk.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Outside an office block, a young man offers to help a woman lift her pushchair down a long concrete staircase. Its occupant turns out to be an adult man in a knitted hat and sleepsuit, who spends the slow descent making stilted conversation with his helper: fishing for reassurance about his weight, admiring the helper's jacket and asking whether it comes in smaller sizes, and remarking on how many steps there are. The helper grows ever more uncomfortable as the baby's chatter trails off into awkward non-sequiturs and then turns abruptly rude, while the mother carries on as if nothing is unusual. At the bottom she thanks him warmly, he dutifully compliments the baby, and the baby sends him on his way with a matey farewell.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Heavy, aren't I?

Do they do them in smaller sizes?

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

ScriptEnglish · 32 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:00

    Guide Presents ''How to Pronounce Kronohan''

  2. 00:08

    Passer-by

    Do you want a hand?

  3. 00:09

    Woman with Pram

    Oh, could you? That'd be great. It's very heavy.

  4. 00:12

    Passer-by ?

    It's OK.

  5. 00:12

    Woman with Pram ?

    I don't usually like to ask.

  6. 00:14

    Passer-by ?

    No, it's OK. It's fine.

  7. 00:15

    Baby ?

    All right?

  8. 00:17

    Passer-by ?

    All right?

  9. 00:18

    Baby

    Heavy, aren't I?

  10. 00:19

    Passer-by

    Uh, no. You're OK, actually.

  11. 00:22

    Baby

    It's a nice jacket.

  12. 00:24

    Passer-by

    Uh, thanks.

  13. 00:25

    Baby

    Do they do them in smaller sizes?

  14. 00:27

    Passer-by

    I don't think so.

  15. 00:27

    Baby ?

    There's a surprise.

  16. 00:28

    Passer-by ?

    Quite chatty, isn't he?

  17. 00:30

    Woman with Pram ?

    Yeah,

  18. 00:30

    Baby ?

    all right, mate.

  19. 00:34

    Baby

    A lot of steps, aren't there?

  20. 00:36

    Passer-by

    Yeah. Yeah, there are.

  21. 00:41

    Baby ?

    Have you just come? I'm... Oh, no, it doesn't matter.

  22. 00:45

    Passer-by ?

    Sorry?

  23. 00:45

    Baby

    No, nothing. I was just going to say, you've just come straight from work, but I'm boring myself.

  24. 00:50

    Passer-by ?

    What

  25. 00:51

    Baby ?

    Fuck off.

  26. 00:53

    Baby

    What station is this?

  27. 00:56

    Passer-by

    Erm... Holborn.

  28. 00:57

    Baby ?

    Oh, yeah.

  29. 00:58

    Woman with Pram

    Thanks ever so much.

  30. 00:59

    Passer-by

    OK, no worries. He's very cute.

  31. 01:01

    Baby ?

    Cheers, mate.

  32. 01:02

    Passer-by ?

    OK.

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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