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A Sat Nav With Your Da's Voice
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Derek shows his friend the sat nav he got for his birthday, which instead of a celebrity voice speaks in the gruff tones of his da. As they drive, the device barks late directions, complains about his indicators, his speed and his tailgating, and blames him for every missed turn. When Derek protests, it reminds him he is still on his father's insurance at thirty-five, until he finally abandons the car and walks off while the voice keeps shouting after him.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
It's only the language of the road that the rest of us all use. It's no Brands Hatch, son.
You know why? Cos you're 35 year old and you're still on my insurance.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Robert Florence
Writer
Iain Connell
Writer
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The sketch first aired in the opening episode of Burnistoun's third series on 13 August 2012; the official Burnistoun YouTube channel posted it as a standalone clip in March 2016.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:04
Friend
Oh, you've got sat-nav now?
- 00:06
Derek
Aye. I got it for my birthday.
- 00:09
Friend
Got a celebrity voice on it?
- 00:11
Derek
No. It came with my da's voice on it.
- 00:14
Friend
Your da's voice?
- 00:16
Speaker 1
You never think of getting inside of this bloody motor a clean, son? Left, left, left, left, left! I said left, for fuck's sake, you did.
- 00:25
Derek ?
I was past the turn before you said it.
- 00:27
Speaker 1
I should have fucking drove myself. Barely about.
- 00:32
Friend
That's pretty good. It sounds just like him.
- 00:34
Speaker 1
You know I'm a fan of indicators, Derek. These wee flashing lights that let other drivers know what manoeuvres you're planning. Zack, just go straight on. Whenever you're ready, switch that indicator off. It's nae big deal. It's only the language of the road that the rest of us all use. It's no brand's hatch, son.
- 00:52
Derek ?
I wasn't going fast.
- 00:53
Speaker 1 ?
I'll just walk. Oh, we said I wanted cremated, but no right now, in some fireball accident you've caused, we are horrendous driving.
- 01:00
Derek ?
Right, well, what then?
- 01:01
Speaker 1
Left, left, left, left! Oh, you missed it again!
- 01:04
Derek
You need to give me a bit of warning.
- 01:06
Speaker 1
Is this a prison ship we're on?
- 01:07
Derek ?
No.
- 01:08
Speaker 1
Then why are you right up that guy's arse?
- 01:13
Derek ?
You drive.
- 01:15
Speaker 1
Oh, what have I said now? Honestly, you're like a bloody wallflower. I'll say what I want about your driving, right? You know why? Cos you're 35 year old And you're still on my insurance, you're my only let me take you off it, you're on my rescue recovery and all Ten year out the house and you're still costing me a fortune, turn left!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Burnistoun.
