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The Worst Spirit Animal

Alternatino with Arturo Castro2019Season 1Episode 7
Alternatino with Arturo CastroAlternatino
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

At a forest ayahuasca ceremony, one seeker discovers his spirit guide is Barry, a deer-antlered bro with terrible advice.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

A shaman leads three seekers through an ayahuasca ceremony around a campfire and calls on their guiding spirits. The others receive a noble fox and a wise owl that offer calm, mystical counsel, but Arturo gets Barry, a bearded guy in antlers and white jeans who claims to be a deer. Instead of wisdom, Barry pitches drones and molly, refuses to help with Arturo's question about being a better husband and father, humps the air during the group mantra, tries to lure the other spirits away, and finally throws up while insisting it is good luck.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 5

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

You gotta get a drone, dude.

Okay, my spirit, while I'm on drugs, is offering me other drugs.

My spirit animal is just having sex with the air.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

John Gemberling, who plays Barry, previously worked with Arturo Castro on Broad City, where Gemberling played Bevers and Castro played Jaimé.

ScriptEnglish · 57 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:02

    Shaman

    Welcome, my friends. You have journeyed far for this enlightenment ceremony because you are seeking answers in your lives. Are you ready?

  2. 00:11

    I am.

  3. 00:12

    Yes, please.

  4. 00:13

    So ready. I really need this, you know?

  5. 00:15

    Shaman

    Breathe deeply. Sip the ayahuasca tea, and open your third eye to a guiding spirit. Reveal yourselves, great spirits.

  6. 00:26

    Speaker 1 ?

    I am Volpe Magnum, the fox.

  7. 00:33

    Speaker 2 ?

    I am Trivictor, the owl.

  8. 00:38

    Barry

    Oh, yo, what up? I'm Barry. I'm a...deer.

  9. 00:43

    Shaman

    Tell us what form your guiding spirit has taken.

  10. 00:46

    Mitra Jouhari ?

    Mine is a powerful fox.

  11. 00:48

    Mike Hanford ?

    And mine's a brilliant owl.

  12. 00:50

    Arturo Castro

    Mine says he's a deer, but he's just some dude in white jeans wearing antlers. Is that...is that normal?

  13. 00:56

    Shaman

    Breathe deeply and accept your spirit's wisdom.

  14. 01:00

    Speaker 1 ?

    You alone can achieve your dreams.

  15. 01:02

    Speaker 2 ?

    Let curiosity guide your success.

  16. 01:05

    Barry

    You gotta get a drone, dude.

  17. 01:08

    Arturo Castro

    I'm sorry, what?

  18. 01:09

    Barry

    Drones, dude! You can fly them up to any window, and they got these 4K cameras on them, and they can see everything. Everything!

  19. 01:17

    Arturo Castro

    Okay, I feel like I drew a hard short straw on my spirit.

  20. 01:21

    Shaman

    Trust. Know each of you. Ask for the answer you seek.

  21. 01:26

    Mitra Jouhari ?

    How can I connect better with others?

  22. 01:28

    Speaker 1 ?

    The most basic human need is to be heard.

  23. 01:30

    Mike Hanford ?

    How can I do anything when I fear I will fail?

  24. 01:34

    Speaker 2 ?

    The journey is the reward.

  25. 01:36

    Arturo Castro

    How can I be a better husband and father?

  26. 01:40

    Barry

    Pass.

  27. 01:42

    Arturo Castro

    No, you can't pass. You're supposed to help me.

  28. 01:44

    Barry

    You want help?

  29. 01:45

    Arturo Castro

    Yeah.

  30. 01:45

    Barry

    The ayahuasca's trash. You gotta get down with this Molly, man. This is good shit.

  31. 01:50

    Arturo Castro

    Okay, my spirit, while I'm on drugs, is offering me other drugs.

  32. 01:54

    Shaman ?

    Shh, man. Shh.

  33. 01:55

    Shaman

    repeat carefully as your guides give you your new mantra

  34. 02:00

    Speaker 1 ?

    I am strong I am powerful

  35. 02:03

    Mitra Jouhari ?

    I am strong I am powerful

  36. 02:06

    Speaker 2 ?

    clear mind clear thoughts

  37. 02:09

    Mike Hanford ?

    your mind clear thoughts

  38. 02:11

    Arturo Castro

    my spirit animal is just having sex with the air

  39. 02:18

    Barry ?

    yeah

  40. 02:21

    Arturo Castro

    Oh God

  41. 02:22

    Shaman

    and so it What shall be your mantra?

  42. 02:27

    Arturo Castro

    Um, I'm good.

  43. 02:30

    Shaman

    Ah, it is now time for your guides to return to their realm.

  44. 02:34

    Speaker 1 ?

    Remember, I am with you always.

  45. 02:36

    Speaker 2 ?

    If you ever need me.

  46. 02:37

    Barry

    Hey, Fox. Hey, Owl. My guy's kind of a narc. Let's get out of here, back to the spirit realm, figure out which one of you's got a pussy.

  47. 02:44

    Arturo Castro

    Is this about Trip? Is this what people mean when they say about Trip?

  48. 02:48

    Shaman

    It is all in your mind.

  49. 02:49

    Arturo Castro

    Oh, no, I'm pretty sure this is about Trip.

  50. 02:50

    Barry

    Oh, man. I went full biscuit on some vodka Gatorades, man. I think I'm gonna...

  51. 02:59

    Oh.

  52. 03:04

    Barry

    Hey, relax, man. It's good luck.

  53. 03:09

    Arturo Castro

    It's good luck? Is that true?

  54. 03:10

    Shaman

    It is not true.

  55. 03:11

    Arturo Castro

    Goddamn it!

  56. 03:12

    Barry

    All right. Later, bro.

  57. 03:14

    Arturo Castro ?

    and Barry.

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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