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How Did They Survive with No Food?
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Rescue workers Smith and Ruiz hike to the wreck of a rugby team’s plane, where a few shaggy, bearded players have been stranded for three months. Smith tiptoes toward the grim question of what they resorted to, but the players cheerfully explain that they ate the aircraft itself: the wings, the seats and even the fuel, which they insist on calling food. They rejected the in-flight meals as inedible, already devoured the black box on a day they remember as their Thanksgiving, and point out that the other passengers simply walked down the mountain rather than eat a plane. As the baffled rescuers try to get back to business, Ruiz searches for her missing walkie-talkie while one of the survivors quietly crunches on it, and another wonders whether anyone has some oil for dessert.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
In order to survive, we ate the plane.
Well, we didn’t see any other plane up here.
It’s the best part of the plane. It’s, like, the heart meat.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Nicholas Jasenovec
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Comedy Central released the sketch on YouTube on July 11, 2019, two days after the episode aired.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:04
Ruiz ?
Oh, my God. We found the crash site of the rugby team. There are survivors.
- 00:10
Assessing the damage was uncoordinated.
- 00:13
Smith
Hello, men. I'm Rescue Worker Smith. This is Rescue Worker Ruiz. We're going to get you off this mountain. Now, we need to assess the situation. We can see that not all of you are here. And since you've been missing for over three months without any food, we assume that to survive, you had to resort to some extraordinary measures.
- 00:34
Yeah, it's true.
- 00:35
Smith
Tell me, did you survive because you ate...
- 00:40
The plane. Yeah.
- 00:44
Smith ?
What?
- 00:45
In order to survive, we ate the plane.
- 00:47
Smith ?
No way.
- 00:47
That's true.
- 00:48
Smith
You ate the plane you went down in.
- 00:51
Well, we didn't see any other plane up here. Yeah, we just had the one, Smith.
- 00:56
Ruiz
Was it good?
- 00:57
Smith
Tina, don't...
- 00:58
Ruiz
What? I...
- 00:59
No. No, it wasn't good. It was pretty bland.
- 01:01
Smith
So, you ate the wings?
- 01:03
Yeah.
- 01:04
Smith
You ate the seats?
- 01:05
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- 01:07
Smith
Do you eat the oil and the gas?
- 01:09
Well, we drank it.
- 01:10
Smith ?
You can't eat a liquid.
- 01:13
That's what I meant, thank you.
- 01:14
You didn't say that.
- 01:15
Smith ?
What about the in-flight meals?
- 01:17
We tried them, but they tasted terrible. Really disgusting, really disgusting.
- 01:20
Smith
All right, do you guys know where we can find the black box?
- 01:24
Anybody else want to tell them? OK, I'll go. We ate it.
- 01:27
Smith ?
Are you serious?
- 01:28
It's the best part of the plane. It's like the heart meat. That was a good day. That was Thanksgiving. Oh, that's right.
- 01:32
Smith
Okay, there are more important things to discuss right now.
- 01:36
Are there?
- 01:36
Smith
Are any of you hurt?
- 01:38
Um, I have a stomach ache, but that might just be from eating the plane. Yeah, that's what it is. If I had to guess. Yeah, definitely.
- 01:45
Smith
If you didn't eat any of the people, where are the rest of the passengers?
- 01:47
Well, they went down the mountain. They didn't want to eat the plane.
- 01:50
Smith ?
Why didn't you guys go with them?
- 01:51
We were eating the plane.
- 01:53
Ruiz
Hey, have you seen my walkie-talkie?
- 01:55
Smith ?
Seriously?
- 02:00
The plane was better. The plane was better? Yeah, I figured as much. Now, for dessert, does anybody have any gas or oil I could eat? I got you. Sniff!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Alternatino with Arturo Castro.
