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Every Clichéd Character in a Horror Movie
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Framed as a run of slated screen tests, Arturo Castro auditions for each doomed part in a horror movie. In a wig and towel he plays the innocent girl who is home alone and about to shower, then a minority character who cheerfully heads down to the cellar and immediately regrets taking the role. As the final girl he is baffled that the script offers nothing but screaming and stabbing, and as the bearded janitor he resents being suspected just because of his creepy voice. A polo-shirted jock decides the only way to stop the killer is for everyone to hook up in the tent, and the masked killer finally agrees, scolding the campers that none of this would have happened if they had. The sketch closes on a poster for the resulting film, Tent of Bones.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Hey, my white amigos, I'm going down to the cellar to get some cervezas. I'll come back completely unharmed, okay?
Oh, you think I'm the murderer because I sound like this?
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Daphne Gardner
Director
Lexi Tannenholtz
Producer
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Comedy Central released the sketch on YouTube on June 21, 2019, three days after the series premiere. It ends on a poster for the fictional film Tent of Bones.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Horror movie screen test, take one. Arturo Castro reading for innocent girl who gets killed first. Cue music.
- 00:10
Innocent Girl Who Gets Killed First
What am I doing right now? Oh, I'm just about to take a super sexy shower because my parents aren't home. And I don't know how to lock the door. I'm sorry, who is this again?
- 00:19
Minority character who dies second, take three.
- 00:22
Minority Character Who Dies Second ?
Are these really the... Yeah, no, no, I'll give this. Okay.
- 00:29
Minority Character Who Dies Second
Hey, my white amigos, I'm going down to the cellar to get some cervezas. I'll come back completely unharmed, okay? See you in a bit. Fuck, I hate myself.
- 00:39
Final girl, take three.
- 00:48
Final Girl
I'm sorry, that's it? There's no dialogue? Just screaming and stabbing? Oh, more?
- 00:54
Creepy dude whose warning is ignored, take four.
- 00:56
Creepy Dude Whose Warning Is Ignored
You'll be wanting to stay away from the lake house. There's a killer on the loose. Oh, you think I'm the murderer because I sound like this? Well, I didn't get to choose my own voice, okay? When has the janitor ever been the killer, hmm?
- 01:10
Douche who's oblivious to danger, take two.
- 01:12
Douche Who's Oblivious to Danger
Whoa, guys, I figured it out, okay? Listen up. The only way to stop this killer is if we all bone in this tent right now. The janitor said so, man.
- 01:22
Douche Who's Oblivious to Danger ?
Hero.
- 01:23
The killer, take one.
- 01:25
The Killer
You should have all just had sex in the tent and none of this would have happened. Wait, so the douchebag was rogue? Sidney, Brad, do you want to live?
