Don't Be Dirty

Host Bradley welcomes viewers to Don't Be Dirty, where reigning semi-finalist Tony and newcomer John must talk about a topic without saying anything rude. Tony gets through a clinical explanation of oral sex in elaborately polite terms, while John's harmless talk about preserving hardwoods is buzzed out over the word 'business' and an anagram. Tony then gambles his prizes on a Daily Double covering genital torture and the sports presenter David Vine, holds out through the first subject, and trips himself up describing Vine's expertise, losing everything before cheerfully reflecting on what a big night it has been.

In the published script the second contestant is called Clive, after guest star Clive Mantle; in the broadcast his podium and the host call him John.