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Die Hard 12: Die Hungry
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Framed as a coming-attractions trailer, the sketch follows New York cop John McClane, played by Ben Stiller as a full Bruce Willis impression, as he goes holiday shopping in Los Angeles just as a gang led by Taylor Negron's terrorist seizes the supermarket and holds the shoppers for a ransom of Christmas coupons. McClane fights back across the produce stands and deli counter, trading wisecracks over a walkie-talkie with a police officer and his blustering superior waiting outside. The narrator stacks up every franchise cliché, from a hero who is alone, worn out and hungry to one who is running low on catchphrases, while the villain grumbles that McClane keeps turning up at every Christmas Eve attack. The trailer closes by marveling that the same thing keeps happening to the same man, with the studio's real motive spelled out in a title card.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Paper or plastic, you son of a...
They say lightning can't strike 12 times.
How could the same thing happen to the same guy so many times?
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Judd Apatow
Writer
Robert Cohen
Writer
Brent Forrester
Writer
Jeff Kahn
Writer
Bob Odenkirk
Writer
Dino Stamatopoulos
Writer
Ben Stiller
Writer
Ben Stiller
Director
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:03
Speaker 1
It's Christmas Eve in L.A., and New York cop John McClane is shopping with his wife.
- 00:11
John McClane
California.
- 00:15
Andy Dick
Everyone on the floor, march now.
- 00:20
The Terrorist
Attention, Attention, shoppers. For the next ten minutes, we will have a special offer. Two million dollars in Christmas coupons in exchange for your life. Dasvidaniya and shop.
- 00:31
John McClane
What country is this guy from?
- 00:36
Speaker 1
They're as brilliant as they are ruthless.
- 00:39
I want the Christmas coupon.
- 00:42
John McClane
Beat me.
- 00:44
John McClane
Bon appétit, Mr. Whipple.
- 00:52
Speaker 1
But he's very cunning.
- 00:54
The Terrorist
Bung him!
- 00:56
John McClane
Paper or plastic, you son of a...
- 01:00
Speaker 1
They say lightning can't strike 12 times. But don't tell him.
- 01:06
John McClane
Hey, fellas, gotta eat your greens!
- 01:08
Bob Odenkirk
Who the hell is this guy?
- 01:12
The Terrorist
Who are you? You're very annoying.
- 01:15
John McClane
I got news for you, pal. That's what the people pay to see.
- 01:21
Speaker 1
Bruce Willis.
- 01:24
The Cop
You just You just destroyed an entire deli section, mister!
- 01:31
John McClane
What do you think I'm doing here? Comparison shopping, huh?
- 01:34
Bob Odenkirk
What does he think he's doing?
- 01:37
Janeane Garofalo
His job.
- 01:39
Bob Odenkirk
I'm I'm in charge here!
- 01:46
John McClane
Scum check L6.
- 01:49
Speaker 1
He's alone. He's tired.
- 01:53
John McClane
The food is rotten, the bathroom is locked,
- 01:56
Speaker 1
and And he's running out of one-liners!
- 02:02
John McClane
Think, dammit, think! Sorry to piss you off. Sorry to pick on you guys.
- 02:10
The Terrorist
Heh. Yeah.
- 02:14
The Terrorist
Your coincidental appearance at every terrorist attack on Christmas Eve goes tiresome, Mr. Fat Boy!
- 02:22
John McClane
Dabba dabba doo, dabba doo ba dabba dee bee dabba.
- 02:24
The Terrorist
Shut up!
- 02:26
John McClane
Come to the store, we'll go shopping, we'll get a Christmas turkey.
- 02:39
John McClane
How could the same thing happen to the same guy so many times?
- 02:48
Speaker 1
Bruce Willis, Die Hard 12, coming this Christmas to theaters everywhere.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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