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People Person

That Mitchell and Webb Look 2010 Season 4 Episode 5

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A party guest proud of his people skills meets the one stranger who sees straight through the routine.

Watch on YouTube

Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

At a house party, Paul is introduced as a real people person and immediately turns it on for James, repeating his name, gushing over his job at a sewage treatment plant and agreeing with things nobody has said. James calmly diagnoses the act and explains, in increasingly grotesque comparisons, how the forced chumminess and arm-touching make Paul seem less charming than alarming. He then reassures Paul that being bad with people is perfectly ordinary, and when Paul finally drops the charm and tells him to go away, James approves of the honest reply.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Highly quotable.

I'd like to glue my brain to your face.

You think you're good with people.

It's called people skills.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Written by Madeleine Brettingham. The sketch was tried out at the Drill Hall in November 2009 and recorded in front of a studio audience at BBC Television Centre in February 2010.

ScriptEnglish · 19 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:00
Paul's Sister-in-Law
Come and meet my brother in your court. He's lovely. He's a real people person.
00:04
Paul
So, James, pleasure to meet you, James. Real pleasure to meet you. Heard a lot about you, James.
00:09
James
Really?
00:09
Paul
Zing. Like it. So, tell me, James, what do you do for your day job? I'm asking because I'm genuinely interested.
00:15
James
Well, I work in a sewage treatment plant. It's pretty low-key, but occasionally there's a blockage, which means that someone's got to physically...
00:21
Paul
Yeah, brilliant. Yeah, God, I'm so bloody fascinated, James. I'd like to glue my brain to your face.
00:28
James
Are you even listening to me?
00:29
Paul
That is so true.
00:30
James
I'm not even talking.
00:31
Paul
Me neither. God, we've got so much in common. We should totally do lunch.
00:35
James
Oh, I see what's going on here.
00:37
Paul
What?
00:38
James
You think you're good with people.
00:40
Paul
Sorry.
00:41
James
It all makes sense, the fake mateyness, the rapey arm-touching. But the way you keep using my name in a way that makes me feel oddly violated, as if you've just dipped your cock in my drink.
00:53
Paul
Sorry. It's called people skills.
00:55
James
Well, I'm sorry to have to break this to you, mate, but these people skills you seem so desperate to thrust at me as if I'm the social equivalent of a wank doll just make you seem weird and a bit scary. No offence, but in a party situation you seem about as relaxed and friendly as a serial killer doing a police interview while still wearing his last victim's skin. Don't worry, it's totally normal. It doesn't make you the sort of freaky, long-fingernailed loner who gets arrested in Sainsbury's for stroking the bread. Being shit with people is just a very minor disability that you share with everyone who is an Alan Carr or Top Cat. Just accept it and move on.
01:36
Paul
Okay, well, piss off and stand on your own then.
01:40
James
That's more like it.