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Hail Caesar
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
On a sunlit palace terrace, Julius Caesar's adviser rehearses the ceremonial greeting with him before a meeting with Cleopatra, then unveils a second idea to make him seem more imposing: from now on Caesar must refer to himself only in the third person. Caesar keeps slipping back into saying "I", so the adviser takes out a reed pipe and blows it every time he gets it wrong. When a messenger arrives with news, he gamely tries to follow the new protocol too, and before long all three men are hopelessly tangled over who is "he", "him" and "me", punctuated by ever more reed blasts. Caesar's request for a gong whenever someone gets it right is turned down, and the adviser's other piece of counsel for the Cleopatra meeting turns out to be rather more basic.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Henceforth you're to refer to yourself only in the third person.
Can't we have a gong if we get it right?
Caesar disagrees.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Ben Gosling Fuller
Director
Gareth Edwards
Producer
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Adviser
Hail Caesar.
- 00:01
Julius Caesar
Hail Miklas.
- 00:02
Adviser
No, you don't hail me.
- 00:04
Julius Caesar
Sorry, sorry.
- 00:06
Adviser
Shall we try that again? Hail Caesar.
- 00:08
Julius Caesar
Hello.
- 00:10
Adviser
That was perfect. Mighty Caesar, your council has devised two further ploys to ensure the success of your forthcoming parley with Cleopatra.
- 00:18
Julius Caesar
You mean on top of the hail thing?
- 00:19
Adviser
Which was perfect. Yes, henceforth, you're to refer to yourself only in the third person.
- 00:24
Julius Caesar
right okay so I know what
- 00:29
Adviser
so instead of saying I am listening you say Caesar is listening or Caesar listens makes you seem more mental important
- 00:37
Julius Caesar
so I know
- 00:39
Adviser
Caesar
- 00:40
Julius Caesar
I thought I was Caesar
- 00:41
Adviser
stop saying I
- 00:42
Julius Caesar
oh I see oh sorry he sees
- 00:45
Adviser
so you say he or one or or Caesar makes you seem more imposing
- 00:50
Julius Caesar
right um i see so you want me
- 00:54
Adviser
no
- 00:54
Julius Caesar
oh you want caesar him you want him
- 00:57
Adviser
that's it
- 00:58
Julius Caesar
to seem more aloof i get it
- 01:00
Adviser
what mighty caesar mighty caesar nessus try that
- 01:05
Julius Caesar
what oh uh caesar is listening
- 01:08
Adviser
what caesar is listening i thought you were caesar
- 01:12
Julius Caesar
no yes oh yeah sorry yes Yes. Am I? But I thought... But Caesar thought... Oh, I get it. Oh, er, I mean, he gets it.
- 01:26
Adviser
He means he gets...
- 01:28
Adviser
OK, Caesar, from now on, every time you forget to refer to yourself in the third person, I'm going to blow on this reed.
- 01:34
Julius Caesar
I don't... Caesar understands.
- 01:39
Messenger
What's this third person?
- 01:40
Adviser
New Protocol.
- 01:41
Julius Caesar
Ah, you bring news.
- 01:42
Messenger
Mighty Caesar, I bring you news... Oh, uh, he brings you news. Oh, uh, he brings... Sorry, him news.
- 01:51
Adviser
No, sirs.
- 01:52
Messenger
Oh, I... Are we... Oh, no, ah, he... Uh, but... Oh, I... Sorry, is it... What?
- 02:00
Julius Caesar
What are you doing?
- 02:01
We're all referring to ourselves in the third person. Yes. No. Aren't we? I mean them. No, no, you refer to yourself. I refer to myself. He refers to himself. Who, me? No, me. I mean, him. Caesar. Oh, you, Caesar. Me. Oh, I see. No, no, no, you're Caesar. Me? No. You. No, you, you, Caesar. Me? What? Oh, I get it. Shut up. It's very simple. Caesar is... Oh, I'm... He's Caesar and I'm... Him. He's... And you're... Who? Who? Caesar. Can't we have a gong if we get it right? No.
- 02:46
Julius Caesar
Nicholas, just out of interest, what was the second piece of counsel for the forthcoming parley with Cleopatra?
- 02:50
Adviser
Ah, yes. Don't look down at her top.
- 02:54
Julius Caesar
Caesar disagrees.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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