Get Me Hennimore!: Erotic Beds

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:01
   

   Boss

   Thank Thank you so you very much for coming. Happy Christmas.

2. 00:07

   Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

3. 00:10
   

   Boss

   Ah, Hennemore, before you go, I've got a bit of a Christmas favour to ask you.

4. 00:14

   Oh, little donkey.

5. 00:15
   

   Boss

   Help yourself to a prawn, Christ, and come with me.

6. 00:17
   

   Boss

   welcome to Welcome to the love nest. This is where the magic happens.

7. 00:29
   

   Hennimore

   Nice prawn, sir.

8. 00:31
   

   Hennimore

   Sorry.

9. 00:32
   

   Boss

   Well, you've probably wondered, Hennemore, why I've taken to sleeping in the office. And I'm not going to lie to you, Hennemore. I'm going to tell you a horrific private truth of almost genital intimacy. And there's nothing you can do about it.

10. 00:42
    

    Hennimore

    Is this about your perineum again, sir?

11. 00:45
    

    Boss

    Not directly No, this is boss And I need to spice up our sex life and what better time to do it than this sexiest of all the sacred festivals Christmas So in order to make our festive banging go with a bang I've ordered a top-of-the-range erotic bed the sexualizer 4000 It's got self notching bedposts 12 lube jets and an 8-speed slap-and-tickle setting Now, I'm sure you're aware how strongly anti-nuclear Mrs. Boss has become since joining Ladies Against the Wall, a group dedicated to reaching out to the Communist Eastern Bloc. So, as a special treat, I've had the bed customised with an enormous CND logo. It's down in our warehouse, and I need you to get it installed up here by midnight tonight.

12. 01:26
    

    Hennimore

    No problem, sir.

13. 01:27
    

    Boss

    On an unrelated note, my long-time sparring partner and former prisoner-of-war camp guard, Klaus Automobile, now a big wheel of the Mercedes Corporation, keeps rubbing my nose in the amount of arse he's getting. And, indeed, let slip to me, has destroyed his own bed in a particularly torrid humfest. I wish I could say the same about ours. That was the result of nothing sexier than Mrs Boss thinking she could hear the tell-tale scrape of a Death Watch beetle and setting about the thing with a bust of Freud and a lacrosse stick.

14. 01:54
    

    Hennimore

    Compassionate woman, sir.

15. 01:55
    

    Boss

    So I said to Klaus that I'd order him a sexualiser 4000 as well as a treat. Then I hit upon the idea for a hilarious Christmas prank. In fact, I've ordered him a Jokopedic 69, a bed primarily designed for farceurs and humorous hospitals. It has 41 of the most unerotic settings imaginable, including nausea jets, unexplained custard and dung. I want you to deliver it to his house by midnight tonight. It's also down in our warehouse, emblazoned with an enormous Mercedes insignia.

16. 02:25
    

    Hennimore

    Sounds clear enough, sir.

17. 02:26
    

    Boss

    And chop-chop, Henimore, I want you to get straight back here to video mine and Mrs Boss's night of passion on your phone.

18. 02:32
    

    Hennimore

    but sir tomorrow's Christmas

19. 02:34
    

    Boss

    I can't believe you'd be so selfish it's Christmas

20. 02:36
    

    Hennimore

    but it's Christmas

21. 02:37
    

    Boss

    it's Christmas anymore

22. 02:39
    

    Hennimore

    but it's Christmas sir

23. 02:40
    

    Boss

    then we're agreed you get those two beds delivered and remember the only screw up I want is the brilliant screw that I'm gonna be

24. 02:47
    

    Hennimore

    I know sir

25. 02:47
    

    Boss

    no way that I'm gonna be having

26. 02:49
    

    Hennimore

    really I get it sir

27. 02:50
    

    Boss

    just that I'm gonna be having right up my wife

28. 02:53
    

    Hennimore

    I'll be going sir