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Boot Sale: Holy Grail

That Mitchell and Webb Look2008Season 2Episode 6
That Mitchell and Webb Look
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A bargain hunter at a car boot sale is offered the Holy Grail for a fiver, and the stallholder has a brutally practical way of proving it works.

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Community rating

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The premise

Here’s the bit.

Browsing a car boot sale, a man picks up an ornate goblet and is told by the offhand stallholder that it is the Holy Grail, the cup from the Last Supper, yours for five pounds while he also sells toys and old videos to other passers-by. The stallholder breezily claims to have drunk from it himself and become immortal, which he says is only a downside for people of a depressive nature. Burned by a dud stereo from the same market the week before, the buyer insists on seeing it work, takes a sip, feels nothing, and is promptly run through with a bayonet borrowed from the next stall. Delighted to find himself unharmed, he haggles the price down to four pounds and receives the cup in a wooden box stamped with a swastika, then wonders why he should pay at all now that he is already immortal. Told that the effect wears off, he points out that immortality which wears off is simply mortality; the stallholder concedes the point and decides to keep the Grail, leaving his customer with the bayonet still in his chest and a twenty-pound price for having it removed.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 2

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Holy Grail, cup of Christ, fiver.

We've all got immortality that wears off. That's just mortality.

That bayonet's 20 quid, unless you want me to pull it out.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

ScriptEnglish · 22 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:07

    Man

    How much is this, mate?

  2. 00:09

    Owner

    That's fiver, mate.

  3. 00:10

    Man

    Five pounds?

  4. 00:11

    Owner

    Well, it is the Holy Grail. Fiver. Take it or leave it.

  5. 00:14

    Man

    Sorry, did you say that this was the Holy Grail?

  6. 00:16

    Owner

    Yes, mate. Holy Grail, cup of Christ, fiver. All right, sweetheart, my little pony, 50p.

  7. 00:22

    Man

    This is the Holy Grail?

  8. 00:24

    Owner

    Yes, mate. It's a cup Jesus used at Last Supper. Drink from it, you become immortal. I've got a box somewhere. Fiver.

  9. 00:31

    Man

    Right. And that works, does it?

  10. 00:33

    Owner

    Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm immortal. Yeah, it's great. I mean, obviously, if you're a depressive personality, it's not such a good idea, but if you basically love life, then it's wicked. All the videos are 50p, mate.

  11. 00:44

    Man

    Can I see it working?

  12. 00:45

    Owner

    What?

  13. 00:46

    Man

    Well, it's just I bought a stereo over there last week and that didn't work, so...

  14. 00:50

    Owner

    Oh, honestly. There's no trust any more, is there?

  15. 00:52

    Man

    I I don't feel any different.

  16. 01:03

    Owner

    Excuse me, mate.

  17. 01:05

    Man

    Ah! Brilliant. Will you take four?

  18. 01:12

    Owner

    Go on, then.

  19. 01:16

    Man

    Hang on, though. I'm immortal anyway now. I don't need it.

  20. 01:19

    Owner

    No, mate, that'll wear off.

  21. 01:21

    Man

    Immortality that wears off? We've all got immortality that wears off, that's just mortality.

  22. 01:27

    Owner

    Actually, that's a good point. I think I'll keep it. That bayonet's 20 quid, unless you want me to pull it out.

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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