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The New Führer
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Here's the English for, we give up.
You're never going to guess. They've made me the new Führer.
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A general informs Admiral Dönitz that Hitler is dead and that he has been named the new head of Germany. Delighted, Dönitz celebrates, gushes about the autobahns and the housing shortage, then phones his wife to share the news and defend the career move. When his staff present the list of priorities they have drawn up, it holds a number for General Eisenhower and the English words for surrender. Crestfallen, he realises the job exists only so someone can formally say Germany has given up, and before making the call he asks his officers for one small favour to mark the occasion.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
David Kerr
Director
Gareth Edwards
Producer
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
British Comedy Guide's episode running order lists this piece as "Admiral Donitz".
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:08
General
We bring shocking news. Two hours ago, our beloved Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler, took his own life.
- 00:15
Admiral Dönitz
Oh, right. That is sad.
- 00:18
General
And you, Admiral Dennitz, have been named as his successor.
- 00:27
Admiral Dönitz
In your face, Göring! Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, guys. Woo! Beat it! This is a great idea. I've I've got loads of great ideas for Germany.
- 00:48
Admiral Dönitz
I think we should do more Autobahns. They're great. I think we need to look at pensions. There's a growing housing shortage. Er, listen. Oh, actually, sorry, can I just make a quick call?
- 00:59
General
Yes, mein Führer.
- 01:02
Admiral Dönitz
Nice. Hi, Darling. Yeah, it's me. You're never going to guess. They've made me the new Führer. Yeah, yeah, shot himself.
- 01:15
Admiral Dönitz
Well, Frieda, this is an opportunity that I've just got to take. Well, they were hardly going to give me the job when everything was going really well, were they?
- 01:24
Admiral Dönitz
Look, we'll talk about this later, okay? But, hi all me, though, eh? Hi all me?
- 01:35
Admiral Dönitz
Right, where was I? Oh, yes, ideas. When can we have a policy meeting?
- 01:38
General
We've taken the liberty of drawing up a list of priorities.
- 01:42
Admiral Dönitz
Oh, yeah?
- 01:44
General
Yeah.
- 01:46
General
So, here's General Eisenhower's telephone number. Here's the English for, we give up. and here's an analysis of our military situation in one rude word
- 02:02
Admiral Dönitz
taking the wind out of my sails a bit there this
- 02:10
Admiral Dönitz
Hang on, isn't just one of those pranks you play on all the new Führers is it so
- 02:19
General
No.
- 02:21
Admiral Dönitz
Oh, I see.
- 02:24
General
you just need someone to say that we've surrendered seems silly I know but no we just literally do need someone actually actually, to say we've done that.
- 02:36
Admiral Dönitz
Right.
- 02:37
General
It's red tape, really.
- 02:39
Admiral Dönitz
You see, I thought I was going to get to be a proper...
- 02:43
General
Yes, that was our fault. We didn't mean to give you that impression.
- 02:48
Admiral Dönitz
All right, I'll make the call. Ahem. Um. You wouldn't mind just doing me a quick Heil Dönitz, would you? Just so I can say I've had one.
- 03:03
General
I don't think
- 03:04
Admiral Dönitz
Please. Please.
- 03:10
Admiral Dönitz
I don't know what that is
- 03:13
Admiral Dönitz
Thanks, guys.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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