The Night Hanukkah Harry Saved Easter

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00
   

   Ira

   And now we drink the third cup of wine, Aleph Shemar Kedivitznu. And now, as is family tradition, Uncle Hanukkah Harry will tell us about the prophet Elijah.

2. 00:22
   

   Hanukkah Harry

   Please, please stop. You're embarrassing me. Now, as you all know, I love Passover. over. It's now Hanukkah, but that's nine months away. So I have plenty of time to relax, fly down here to Miami with my sister Cheryl, my nephew Ira, and this beautiful family.

3. 00:42
   

   Hanukkah Harry

   And now, Elijah. As you know, it is custom to set aside a goblet of wine for the invisible The invisible prophet Elijah, who visits every Jewish home that welcomes him. Now, it is at this point in the Seder when we open the front door for Elijah.

4. 01:04

   I give out!

5. 01:06
   

   Easter Bunny

   Hi, I'm looking for Hanukkah Harry.

6. 01:10

   Speaker 1

   Hallmark, in association with the Jewish Anti-Defamation League, presents... The Night Hanukkah Harry Saved Easter.

7. 01:21

   Speaker 2

   On Moishe, on Hershel, on Shlomo, says Hanukkah Harry eight nights a year. On Moishe, on Hershel, on Shlomo, means that Hanukkah Harry is here. Delivering toys for Jewish girls around the menorah. when Hanukkah Harry is here!

8. 01:53

   Hey, Istovani, please, have another potato pancake.

9. 01:56
   

   Easter Bunny

   Oh, thank you, thank you. I can't eat another thing, it was delicious. Thank you, Mrs. Rifkin.

10. 02:02
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Well, anyway, about your leg, you were saying?

11. 02:05
    

    Easter Bunny

    Yeah, I was in the woods, and I stepped into this steel trap left by one of these furrier jerks, and thank goodness a forest ranger was there, and he recognized me just as I was about to chew off my left leg.

12. 02:20
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    And now you're not able to deliver the Easter baskets to all the Gentile boys and girls?

13. 02:25
    

    Easter Bunny

    No. No, that's where I was hoping that you would come in.

14. 02:29
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Oh, well, I'm sorry, Mr. Bunny. I only have that power eight nights a year. But you know, there is one man who has that power during Passover.

15. 02:44

    Uncle Harry, you mean Elijah?

16. 02:47
    

    Easter Bunny

    Elijah?

17. 02:48
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Yes. In fact, when I was going to open the door for you before, I was opening it to let in Elijah.

18. 03:10
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Elijah, it's you.

19. 03:12

    Speaker 4

    You were expecting maybe Charlton Heston?

20. 03:15
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Elijah, I was wondering if you could do a little favor?

21. 03:19

    Speaker 4

    Yes, Harry, I know, I heard. But tell me, why should I help the Goyen?

22. 03:24
    

    Easter Bunny

    Ach! Please, Elijah. You see, this is for all the little Christian boys and girls. Please, Elijah.

23. 03:35
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Elijah, remember that Jesus was a Jew.

24. 03:38
    

    Easter Bunny

    I didn't know that.

25. 03:41
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Yes, yes, he was. In fact, his last supper was a Seder, not unlike this one, except they didn't have the appliances.

26. 03:50
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Jesus was a great teacher, not unlike yourself, Elijah.

27. 03:53

    Speaker 4

    But he was not the Son of God.

28. 03:56
    

    Easter Bunny

    Oh, yes, he was.

29. 03:58
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Easter Bunny, please, you're not helping. All I'm saying is that Jesus was a great rabbi, which is just one letter from a great rabbit. it which is what we have here

30. 04:15

    Speaker 4

    well all right you

31. 04:18

    Hooray!

32. 04:21

    Speaker 2

    Harry and Elijah, Harry and Elijah, Harry and Elijah saving Easter.

33. 04:31
    

    Otis

    You think the Easter... think the easter bunny's gonna bring us some easter eggs rowena

34. 04:41
    

    Roweena

    there ain't no easter bunny otis that was mama that always bring them easter baskets but now that she's run off with that truck driver we ain't ever gonna have easter again

35. 04:51

    you can't still supposed up.

36. 04:57
    

    Mr. Tool

    Otis, you ain't to drink no coke at night that's your breakfast

37. 05:01
    

    Otis

    sorry papa

38. 05:04
    

    Mr. Tool

    now shut up and go to sleep

39. 05:07

    live

40. 05:37

    Speaker 4

    Gut and himmel. People like this

41. 05:41
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Elijah shush

42. 05:43

    Child

    who are you

43. 05:45
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    oh hello boys and girls I'm Hanukkah Harry I'm sort of filling in for the Easter Bunny long as my good friend here the prophet Elijah who he well never mind

44. 05:59

    Child

    you brought us an Easter basket

45. 06:06
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    yes yes look look I have you you some delicious treats. Some macaroons, yeah, and oh, some chocolate-covered matzo, and look, a nut cup with filberts. Can you believe it? Catch

46. 06:24
    

    Mr. Tool

    I thought I told you kids the sho- What the hell? Shut

47. 06:29
    

    Roweena

    Daddy, this is Hanukkah here and he's having us celebrate Easter!

48. 06:33
    

    Mr. Tool

    Shut up, Rowena. I got eyes. I can see what we got here. We got us a Jew boy! Breaking and entering!

49. 06:46
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Please, Mr. Toole, allow me to explain. You see, I was at my nephew's Seder, Ira.

50. 06:52
    

    Mr. Tool

    Shut your trap, Pete! If I was you, I'd get down on my knees and pray to your Jew God, because I'm going to plug you so full of holes.

51. 07:02

    Hup! Hup!

52. 07:13

    Child

    Gee whiz! How'd you do that, Hanukkah Harry?

53. 07:17
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Well... Well, let's just say the Israeli military is getting very sophisticated.

54. 07:23

    Child

    Wait, Papa's coming, too.

55. 07:25
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Oh, are you okay, Mr. Toole?

56. 07:29
    

    Mr. Tool

    Yeah, I'll be okay. Maybe being whooped by a Jew is the best thing ever happened to me.

57. 07:38
    

    Mr. Tool

    Makes me challenge a lot of my preconceptions and rethink my entire value system.

58. 07:45
    

    Mr. Tool

    Maybe Jews are just like everybody else. And maybe that Jewish social worker from the county is right.

59. 07:54
    

    Mr. Tool

    Maybe I should stop whooping my kids and get us into some family therapy so I don't lose the one thing I love in life. My kids.

60. 08:08

    Child

    We love you, Papa!

61. 08:12
    

    Mr. Tool

    Thank you, Hanukkah Harry. Thanks for the greatest Easter gift of all. The gift of rebirth.

62. 08:22
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Well, don't thank me. Thank Elijah.

63. 08:26
    

    Mr. Tool

    My beer!

64. 08:28

    Speaker 2

    I'm I'm Micah. I'm Herschel. I'm Slow Mo.

65. 08:38
    

    Hanukkah Harry

    Happy Passover, everyone, and happy Easter!