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Celebrity Wife Swamp
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, worried that three weeks without a new movie will make people forget them, sign up for the reality series Celebrity Wife Swamp opposite Shrek and Fiona. Angelina is horrified to learn she is staying in the swamp for a whole week, while Brad is mostly delighted to see himself reflected in Fiona’s eyes, mirrors and frying pans and is of no help with the ogre babies. Shrek cannot quite place his famous houseguest, but Donkey is thrilled by the new pairing until he points out that Angelina has traded up to an Oscar winner. His ego bruised, Brad wants out, only for the show’s producer, Rumpelstiltskin, to reveal that the contract lasts forever. When Brad begs for his old wife back, the deal delivers Jennifer Aniston, and he decides to stay with the ogre.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Food and women's basketball, so this could get tricky.
First rule of parenting is you never talk about parenting.
Jennifer Aniston? Eh, I'll stick with the ogre.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Tonight!
- 00:01
Angelina Jolie ?
Hi, I'm Angelina Jolie.
- 00:03
Brad Pitt ?
And I'm her husband, Brad Pitt.
- 00:04
Angelina Jolie ?
We've decided to participate in this TV experiment to see how another celebrity couple lives.
- 00:09
Brad Pitt ?
Also, it's been about three weeks since either of us has been in a movie, so we need to make sure people don't forget who we are.
- 00:15
Princess Fiona ?
I'm Fiona.
- 00:16
Shrek ?
And I'm Shrek, star of Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek the Third, Shrek Forever After, and the Ghost Rider movie.
- 00:23
Princess Fiona ?
You're in the Ghost Rider movie?
- 00:25
Shrek ?
I'm kidding. What do I look like, a dupe?
- 00:27
Princess Fiona ?
Yeah, like doing this show is a good idea.
- 00:30
Celebrity Wife Swamp!
- 00:32
Angelina Jolie ?
This'll be fun. Who wouldn't love to spend a day in a swamp? What? A week? Fire my everyone!
- 00:38
Princess Fiona ?
Hope this guy's not a loser. Oh my gosh! It's Brad Pitt!
- 00:43
Brad Pitt ?
Oh my gosh! It's Brad Pitt! I can see my reflection in your eyeballs. Oh my gosh! It's Brad Pitt again!
- 00:49
Brad Pitt ?
And again!
- 00:50
Princess Fiona ?
That's a mirror.
- 00:51
Brad Pitt ?
Brad Pitt loves mirrors. Don't you, Brad?
- 00:54
Princess Fiona ?
What's happening?
- 00:55
Angelina Jolie ?
Ugh! Is that green mud? Oh, wow, Shrek! My kids love your movies.
- 01:00
Shrek ?
Oh, wow, it's, uh, uh...
- 01:04
Angelina Jolie ?
Angelina Jolie.
- 01:05
Shrek ?
Which I was about to say if you hadn't interrupted me. She's that chef, right? No, no, the WNBA star. Hmm. Well, that's all I know. Food and women's basketball, so this could get tricky.
- 01:15
Princess Fiona ?
Well, it's time for breakfast. What do you normally make for the kids?
- 01:19
Brad Pitt ?
Who knows? I just come down here to look at my reflection in the pans. This one's broken!
- 01:24
Hi, Green Mom!
- 01:27
Princess Fiona ?
You never mentioned they were so unruly.
- 01:31
Brad Pitt ?
First rule of parenting is you never talk about parenting.
- 01:35
Shrek ?
And this is my friend, Donkey.
- 01:37
Donkey ?
Shrek, you throw over Fiona for Angelina Jolie? Man, that is so awesome! Does that mean I can call you guys Shrek-alina? No, wait. I can do better. Angelic. Yeah, that's it. Angelic. That's a good one. Gotta send that to TMZ.
- 01:51
Shrek ?
No, we're just on that show Celebrity Wife Swamp.
- 01:54
Donkey ?
Well, you really traded up.
- 01:56
Angelina Jolie ?
He sure did.
- 01:57
Donkey ?
Not him, you. At least now you're married to an Oscar winner.
- 02:00
Shrek ?
That's true.
- 02:04
Brad Pitt ?
somewhere Somewhere, someone just bruised my ego. I gotta get back to my fairytale wife.
- 02:11
Princess Fiona ?
I am a fairytale wife.
- 02:13
Brad Pitt ?
I mean the one with the big lips. Bigger. How much longer am I stuck on this show?
- 02:19
Princess Fiona ?
I don't know, talk to the producer.
- 02:21
Rumpelstiltskin ?
Guess you should have read your contract closer. because it lasts forever!
- 02:27
Brad Pitt ?
Wait a minute. What am I worried about? I'm Brad Pitt. She can't do anything without me.
- 02:32
Rumpelstiltskin ?
Oh, really?
- 02:33
Coming this summer, the new movie, Mr. and Mrs. Shrek.
- 02:36
Brad Pitt ?
Oh, no. Please, I'll do anything. Just give me my old wife back.
- 02:40
Rumpelstiltskin ?
You got it.
- 02:42
Brad Pitt ?
Jennifer Aniston. Eh, I'll stick with the ogre.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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