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Sticky Minds
SKETCH-O-VISION
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The setup
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
Roger and Samuel, a pair of bespectacled friends in matching windbreakers, slide into a diner booth and immediately start swooning over their waitress, Loretta. Each insists the other order first, then both clumsily try to impress her, offering to treat her to pancakes "on the house" until she points out what that would actually mean. When the pancakes arrive, their rivalry turns into a frantic eating contest that buries the table under a mountain of stacks, and Roger passes out face-down in the pile. While he sleeps, Samuel seizes the moment and proposes to Loretta, who flatly refuses; Roger wakes up furious that his friend cut in during his pancake nap, and after a sheepish apology the two settle the check and try to part with Loretta on good terms.
The funny people
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Say it with us
Highly quotable.
And on the house would mean we would be paying for it.
These were the best pancakes I've ever had in my whole ding-dong life.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stabbed you with my butter knife.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
This season on Funny or Die presents...
- 00:03
Loretta ?
Anything Anything else? Okay, great. Come see us again. Hi, guys. Just sit wherever you want. Okay. There Okay. There you go.
- 00:20
Thank you. What to eat? Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Tell you what I like to order. A piece of that lovely waitress over there. Oh, she's a real doll. Stop talking mother-fribbling wife material here. Yes, can you imagine? Will I kiss the curls right on her? Oh, here she comes. Okay.
- 00:46
Loretta
Hi, guys. You know what you want?
- 00:49
Uh...
- 00:51
Roger ?
Samuel, you go. Samuel, you go first.
- 00:54
Samuel ?
Nope. I defer you, please.
- 00:57
Darn it. Okay, fine. Can you just go first? Uh... Okay. Okay. What What do you recommend?
- 01:15
Loretta
Pancakes? I love them.
- 01:17
I love pancakes, too. Not as much as I do. Know what? I'd like an order, por favor. I'll also have an order, please. And I would like to buy you an order, madame. Actually, I'd like to buy you an order... on the house.
- 01:36
Loretta
I'm fine, thank you. And on the house would mean we would be paying for it.
- 01:41
Oh, you don't have to pay. We have money. We have really good jobs.
- 01:45
Loretta ?
Right. I will be back with your order.
- 01:50
Okay. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious, scrumptious. Oh, no. Oh. Oh.
- 02:13
Loretta ?
So, How'd you like the pancakes?
- 02:15
Oh, so good. These are some of the best cakes. They're pretty good pretty good.
- 02:23
Roger ?
These were the best pancakes I've ever had in my whole ding-dong life.
- 02:32
Know what? Another order. What? You son of a, make that two orders. You serious? Yeah! More pancakes! pancakes and you are very pretty and i like your apron okay
- 03:29
Loretta ?
can i get you guys anything is he okay
- 03:32
Samuel ?
he's fine can i ask you a really quick question
- 03:35
Loretta ?
sure
- 03:36
Samuel ?
will you marry me
- 03:39
Loretta ?
brand No!
- 03:51
Roger ?
Why in the heck did you go and do that? I was gonna ask for a in marriage but you snuck in while i was taking a pancake nap that isn't over there
- 03:59
You snooze, you... No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do you want to... Probably better if you don't... I'm adopted.
- 04:10
Roger ?
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stabbed you with my butter knife.
- 04:14
You know what? You know what? Pancakes aren't meat. Totally unnecessary. I insist. Check, please. Take these. No orders. No. Thanks, Virginia. You're my best friend, and it's your birthday. So at least I can do it. Thank you for everything. I She's need one Gus, call the cops. more bite.
- 04:52
Funny or Die Presents premieres January 14 at midnight, only on HBO.
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