Work Emails

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:01

   Hi! Hi. Hi. Hola.

2. 00:06
   

   Boss

   Come on in. Have a seat.

3. 00:12
   

   Melanie ?

   Is everything okay?

4. 00:14
   

   Boss

   Are you, um... Are you happy here, Melanie? Do you... Do you like working here?

5. 00:21
   

   Melanie

   Absolutely. I'm very happy. I'm happy here.

6. 00:24
   

   Boss

   You are? Okay. Listen, why don't you read this email that you sent to Tim last week?

7. 00:30
   

   Melanie

   Okay.

8. 00:30

   to

9. 00:33
   

   Melanie

   Great to see you yesterday. Let me know when you can send those files. Best, Melanie.

10. 00:40
    

    Boss

    Best. Best. Do you hate yourself? Did somebody hurt you? Why would you...

11. 00:48
    

    Melanie

    I'm not sure. I don't understand.

12. 00:50
    

    Boss

    Okay, let me read it to you. Great to see you yesterday. Period. Let me know when you can send those files. Period. Melanie, is it that you like working here, but you just wish all your coworkers were dead? Is that what we're getting at here? Okay, you know what? Here, take a look at this. Take a look at this email that Jill sent to the team. Hey, gang! Exclamation point. Sending some last-minute encouragement before the big presentation. It's an abbreviation. Presentation. She even spelled it with a Y. Presentation. You can do it! Exclamation point. Jill! Exclamation point.

13. 01:28
    

    Melanie

    She puts an exclamation mark after her name.

14. 01:30
    

    Boss

    There's nothing wrong with throwing in an exclamation, you know, just a little exclamation lets people know that you're upbeat You know that you're not gonna Skin us alive.

15. 01:39
    

    Melanie

    I feel that my punctuation. It's more than appropriate

16. 01:42
    

    Boss

    and I feel like you should be put on some kind of watch list Here take a look at this Your email over here. It's it's all words word word word word letter letter letter letter phonetically strung together in the English language What are you, from old-timey England? You used a semicolon the other day. Are you the psychopath in the office next door? Sometimes when Todd sends out an e-mail, he adds like a poop with eyes, and, oh, God, we laugh. It's fun, Melanie. Poop's fun. Okay, you know what, Mel? How about next time you send out an e-mail, remember that work can be fun. Okay, put a subject line with like a heading that has, you know, a fist and a prescription pill or something. Tells people that you're productive, but also, you know, that you've got addiction issues. You're fun. Okay?

17. 02:36
    

    Melanie

    Mm-hmm.

18. 02:37
    

    Boss

    Great.

19. 02:43
    

    Boss

    That's it.

20. 02:43
    

    Melanie

    Okay. Okay. Thank you.

21. 02:47
    

    Boss

    Mm-hmm. Take a look at your phone.

22. 02:51
    

    Melanie

    It's a taco and a hair flip.

23. 02:52
    

    Boss

    Yeah, that's you.

24. 02:54

    we're

25. 02:56
    

    Boss

    We're bonding.