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Cat Therapy

Baroness von Sketch Show 2016 Season 1 Episode 6

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A routine vet appointment turns into an awkward checkup on a couple’s relationship.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Two cat owners keep answering the veterinarian’s health questions with details about their own relationship. As every symptom becomes a fresh argument, the vet struggles to bring the conversation back to her patient—until an innocent question sends her into a crisis of her own.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Okay, I am an introvert.

ScriptEnglish · 33 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:00
Veterinarian
Little two-cat chaper is not a happy camper right now. Mommies, any problems, concerns, any issues I should be aware of?
00:09
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket)
Oh, God. Intimacy, communication, trust, usual.
00:13
Cat Owner (Striped Top)
Okay, she went with the cat, not with us, so don't.
00:16
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket) ?
Oh, oh, okay, yeah, right.
00:17
Veterinarian
Well, she seems withdrawn.
00:19
Cat Owner (Striped Top)
Okay, I am an introvert. We've talked about that.
00:21
Veterinarian
I meant the cat.
00:23
Cat Owner (Striped Top) ?
Oh, right, the, yes.
00:27
Veterinarian
Okay, any changes to the diet?
00:29
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket) ?
We're gluten-free.
00:30
Cat Owner (Striped Top) ?
Yeah.
00:31
Veterinarian
I meant the cat.
00:32
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket) ?
Oh, so do we.
00:35
Veterinarian
OK. And what about licking? Is there any excessive licking at home?
00:39
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket)
No, I wish.
00:40
Cat Owner (Striped Top) ?
No.
00:40
Veterinarian
I meant with a cat.
00:42
Speaker 1 ?
Oh. Oh, right.
00:44
Cat Owner (Striped Top) ?
Oh, actually, yes. Yes, she is. Yes.
00:46
Veterinarian
OK, and how about drinking? Any problems there?
00:48
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket)
No. Two glasses of wine a night. It's not a drink problem. I don't know what you think about that.
00:54
Cat Owner (Striped Top)
When they're served in a mason jar, it is a problem.
00:57
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket)
That never happened.
00:57
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket) ?
Five ounces. Five ounces is a servant.
00:59
Cat Owner (Striped Top)
She makes stuff up all the time.
01:00
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket) ?
It says so.
01:00
Cat Owner (Striped Top) ?
Okay, you're upsetting the cat.
01:02
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket) ?
You know what? You're upsetting the cat.
01:04
Veterinarian
Enough.
01:07
Speaker 1 ?
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
01:12
Cat Owner (Gray Jacket)
So, uh, Doc, what's next?
01:14
Veterinarian
What's next? Well, I don't know. I mean, I've been a vet for a long time, you know? Maybe it's time to change it up. Go back to school, get a degree, settle down, plant some roots. See if we can make a baby. Or not, you know, just go on my own, get my boots. You know, what's a gal to do? Do I study French or stay home and clean the apartment first?
01:41
Veterinarian ?
Go to the moon.