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Kreepy Spooks: From Dreams to Nightmare
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In this mock documentary, Morris Feldspar and Tamsin run Kreepy Spooks, a tiny suburban theatre restaurant whose four-year-old monster revue, Indiana Ghost and the Temple of Gloom, serves prawn cocktail and schnitzel between mimed novelty songs. Convinced the show deserves more, they book Melbourne's 2,000-seat Regent Theatre at $45,000 a week, although the business clears only $12,000 a year, and assure the camera that ticket prices will simply rise to match. When their Vampira quits mid-rehearsal for a part on Neighbours, Morris dresses her down and Tamsin takes over the role after hours of phone calls. On opening night the ragtag cast gathers backstage, one ghost has forgotten his costume, and Morris waits in the wings insisting that artistic success is all he needs; the crowd shouts bravo, Morris sends the cast back out for an encore, and a closing caption reports that the show is still running in Melbourne after four years.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
It wouldn't be overstating it to say that it is an allegory.
Good evening, guys and ghouls.
I don't care whether the crowd likes it or not. They can hate it for all I'm concerned.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Ted Emery
Director
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:03
Speaker 1
Morris Feldspar and Sister Tamsin are the owner-managers of Creepy Spooks Theatre Restaurant, who for the last four years have been presenting a dinner and show entitled Indiana Ghost and the Temple of Gloom. For Morris and Tamsin, it's been a successful show.
- 00:16
Morris Feldspar ?
When I wrote the show four years ago, I really had no idea it would capture people's imagination so much as it obviously has.
- 00:23
Speaker 2 ?
What's it about?
- 00:24
Morris Feldspar ?
Well, it's a very good question. Essentially, it is the story of Dracula, or Dracula, as some people call him, who comes on at the beginning and he tells a few jokes. And then Vampira comes on and she mouths to a recording of the Monster Mash. The audience is, of course, encouraged to sing along. Then, entree is served.
- 00:42
Tamsin ?
Prawn cocktail.
- 00:44
Morris Feldspar ?
The entire cast rush on. There's the werewolf, Frankenstein and a ghost and they mouth Monster's Holiday. Dracula does some more japes and then there's some audience participation. Main course.
- 00:57
Tamsin ?
Schnitzels.
- 00:58
Morris Feldspar ?
And then from Ron Paul we do the time warp and everyone is encouraged to dance.
- 01:03
Tamsin ?
And then there's coffee and chocolate?
- 01:04
Morris Feldspar ?
Yes, and it's delicious. For me, I think it wouldn't be overstating it to say that it is an allegory.
- 01:11
Tamsin ?
Oh, and isn't it popular with the Hens Knights too?
- 01:13
Morris Feldspar ?
Oh, yes, they love it. They seem to love it.
- 01:18
Speaker 1
But after four years, Morris and Tamsin wish to conquer new horizons. They want to take Indiana Ghost and the Temple of Gloom from their nine-table restaurant in Knox Hill to the 2,000-seat, multi-million-dollar Regent Theatre in the heart of Melbourne's fashionable theatre district.
- 01:33
Theatre Manager
right Right, this portion of the stage can be removed for a full orchestra. We can put in a revolving stage, if you'd like, and the roof opens up so you can swing in your sets and your heavy equipment.
- 01:47
Morris Feldspar
Yes, of course. We'll need microphones, four, with stands. I think that'll be all right.
- 01:55
Theatre Manager
Good, good, good, good. Now, for a four-week run with a full crew, machinist, and any overtime, and you're looking at a weekly rental of $45,000.
- 02:12
Morris Feldspar ?
Excellent. Excellent.
- 02:13
Speaker 1
For a business which makes a profit of $12,000 a year, $45,000 a week in rent seems a lot of money. But after doing their sums, Morris and Tamsin believe they can do it. They see if their accountant agrees.
- 02:27
Tamsin ?
It well our account is cautiously optimistic. It's a question of profit really, our break even point at the restaurant is $80 a night, so at $10 a ticket that means we need 8 payers per night and I don't want to boast but most nights we get that don't we?
- 02:50
Morris Feldspar ?
We do, we're in there.
- 02:51
Tamsin ?
So at the Regent we'll be looking at $803 a ticket which I think is...
- 02:57
Morris Feldspar ?
It's not unreasonable, not unreasonable for the show you're getting.
- 03:00
Tamsin ?
And and that price does include supper too. with
- 03:16
Speaker 1
With the Regent Theatre booked rehearsals begin in earnest but at the 11th hour trouble Claudette has secured a role in Neighbours and must pull out of the show
- 03:25
Morris Feldspar ?
well I'm afraid that sorry does not cut the mustard missy you'll find that when you step on people in life to get up that ladder the very same people will be waiting there at the bottom when you slide down that snake
- 03:38
take it easy how dare you
- 03:42
Tamsin ?
it is it is a wonderful wonderful role you come on you say good evening guys and ghouls I am both you do it in the captain you know good evening guys and ghouls I am let me take your hat and throat oh I mean coat thank you very much and then you bring out the entrees which which is a prawn cocktail. Ruth Cracknell's out.
- 04:11
Speaker 1
After hours of telephoning and much discussion, it is decided that Tamsin is the ideal choice to take over the Vampira role. The big night arrives. The agony of preparation is over. Tonight, Indiana Ghost and the Temple of Bloom makes its legitimate theatre debut.
- 04:27
Tamsin ?
People, let's give them a show. Creepers books.
- 04:34
Chookas, Chookas Carl, face the audience remember dear, Paris, Edom. Simon where's your costume?
- 04:40
Speaker 3 ?
Forgot it.
- 04:43
Well, doesn't really matter does it? Well it just doesn't look much like a ghost, that's all.
- 04:50
Morris Feldspar
Let me tell you something, I don't care whether the crowd likes it or not. They can hate it for all I'm concerned. The sheer artistic success of it will satisfy me. wait till you see the surprise ending the finale it'll blow your mind
- 05:27
Bravo! Bravo!
- 05:31
Morris Feldspar ?
Get out there, get out there and do an encore! Go on, I don't know why I'm the tape! Move!
