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Rosemary's Baby 2: Child Support

The Kevin Bishop Show2009Season 2Episode 6
The Kevin Bishop Show
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

Film Four's season of unnecessary sequels catches up with Rosemary, now a single mother handing her horned son over to his father, the Devil, for an access visit and chasing him for unpaid maintenance.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

A continuity announcer introduces the next entry in Film Four's season of unnecessary film sequels. In a 1960s-styled flat, Rosemary fusses over her small son's coat and scarf before answering the door to his red-skinned, horned father, who has come to collect the boy. She insists he bring the child back on time, since a visit from the vicar risks another spontaneous combustion, and complains about how hard it was to find a local school willing to take the son of devil worshippers. The Devil proudly sees his own wickedness in the boy and offers to damn the school board with a booming demonic threat, but Rosemary would rather he simply paid the child maintenance he owes. He pleads poverty and high bills; she reels off the weekly cost of raising Satan's child, gruesome groceries included. Chastened, he apologises, awkwardly thanks her for the loan of her womb and leads his son off to see Westlife. Alone in the doorway, Rosemary admits she still misses him and wonders why she always falls for bad boys, before the title card names the sequel: Child Support.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

I cannot have him bursting into flames again.

Have you seen the price of virgin blood?

What is it with me and bad boys?

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

This sketch aired on Channel 4 in September 2009, seven months before Karen Gillan made her debut as Amy Pond in Doctor Who on 3 April 2010.

ScriptEnglish · 12 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:00

    Now on four, it's back to our unnecessary film sequel season, and our next offering is Rosemary's Baby 2.

  2. 00:17

    Rosemary

    Oh, it's you. You're late. Remember, I need him back by six. Not before, though, because the vicar's coming round and I cannot have him bursting into flames again.

  3. 00:25

    The Devil

    Huh. That's my boy. Takes after his dad, alright.

  4. 00:29

    Rosemary

    Yes, well. Yes, well, if you had any idea how hard it was to get him into a school round here, then maybe you'd be a bit more concerned. You try ticking Religious Affiliation Devil Worshipper.

  5. 00:41

    The Devil

    What if I, um, condemn the school board to the ATTENTION FIRE JAPAN!

  6. 00:46

    Rosemary

    No. No, thank you. I'd rather you just pay the maintenance check you owe me.

  7. 00:50

    The Devil

    It's been a bit tight recently. You should see my gas bill.

  8. 00:53

    Rosemary

    Not my problem. As a figurehead of evil, if you must use my womb, then you can at least shell out the $70 a week it costs to keep him fed and watered. Have you seen the price of virgin blood?

  9. 01:02

    The Devil ?

    Sorry. And thanks, you know, for the womb and everything. Come on in, son. Let's go and see Westlife.

  10. 01:09

    Hey.

  11. 01:10

    Rosemary

    Oh, I Oh, I do miss him, though. What is it with me and bad boys?

  12. 01:21

    Rosemary's Baby 2 Child Support.