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Cupid Stunt: The Abattoir Massacre

The Kenny Everett Television Show1982Season 1Episode 1
The Kenny Everett Television Show
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

Bearded B-movie starlet Cupid Stunt gushes about her new horror picture, a film in which everybody keeps losing their clothes and, eventually, their heads.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Lounging in a wicker chair in blue satin, feathers and a fur wrap, Kenny Everett's brassy American actress Cupid Stunt tells her interviewer Michael that she has so many exciting things in her pipeline she hardly knows which to grab first, then turns to her latest film, The Abattoir Massacre. Acting out every beat with flailing arms, she describes standing by a river until an alligator frightens all her clothes off, three axe-carrying lumberjacks bursting out of a burning forest so hot that they strip too, and a dam bursting to send the whole town floating past naked and headless, victims of a spate of axe murders. Catching herself before she gives away the plot, she explains that this is only the opening, then flings her legs over and assures everyone it is all done in the best possible taste.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 1

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

I'm very excited about my latest film, The Abattoir Massacre.

All their heads are missing as well, because there's been these axe murders. Oh, but I mustn't tell you the plot.

Anyway, that's the opening. And it's all done, of course, in the best possible taste.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Cupid Stunt gave her interviews to a cardboard cut-out of chat-show host Michael Parkinson, which is why she addresses her interviewer as Michael.

ScriptEnglish · 6 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:01

    Cupid Stunt

    Yes, Michael, that's right. I've had a lot of things in my pipeline in my time. And there's some very exciting things coming up in front of me these days. I just don't know which one to grab first.

  2. 00:13

    Cupid Stunt

    I'm very excited about my latest film, The Abattoir Massacre. Have you seen it? Oh, you'll love it!

  3. 00:20

    Cupid Stunt

    There's this scene where I go down to the river, and I'm standing there admiring the view, and suddenly there's this alligator, and I'm so terrified that all my clothes fall off! And suddenly, these three lumberjacks with big axes, you say, chop us here?

  4. 00:39

    Cupid Stunt

    Well, anyway, they come running out of the forest, which is on fire, and the heat is so intense, they take all their clothes off. Suddenly, the dam bursts, and the whole population of the town goes floating by naked.

  5. 00:53

    Cupid Stunt

    All their heads are missing as well, because there's been these axe murders. Oh, but I mustn't tell you the plot.

  6. 01:00

    Cupid Stunt

    Anyway, that's the opening. And it's all done, of course, in the best possible taste.