As the Stomach Turns: Renée's Weight Problem

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:01

   As the stomach turned when last we left Canoga Falls Marion was just settling her monthly bill with the milkman

2. 00:12

   Speaker 1 ?

   That'll be $21

3. 00:13
   

   Marian ?

   Tell me how much is this worth

4. 00:20

   Speaker 1 ?

   that's That's worth about $10. Now you owe me 31,000.

5. 00:31
   

   Marian ?

   Thank you Fresh.

6. 00:38
   

   Marian ?

   Renee? Renee the kitchen then now then Renee, where were we?

7. 00:56
   

   Renée ?

   I don't know where you are, but I'm halfway through this layer cake

8. 01:00
   

   Marian ?

   Oh, Renee, Renee, you've been eating cake and candy now for eight hours straight.

9. 01:05
   

   Renée ?

   That is not true, Marion. I took an hour off for lunch.

10. 01:10
    

    Marian ?

    Mark my words, if you're not careful, you're going to get fat.

11. 01:14
    

    Renée ?

    Oh, I don't think so.

12. 01:16
    

    Marian ?

    Oh, Renee, you've just got to stop this eating. There are other things in life besides food. Here, have a beer.

13. 01:23
    

    Renée ?

    Oh, oh, oh.

14. 01:26
    

    Marian ?

    Renee, you're an intellectual just as I am, and we both know that when a person overeats it's because they have a problem

15. 01:34
    

    Renée ?

    i'm sorry marion i can't talk with my mouth full

16. 01:38
    

    Marian ?

    your mouth isn't full

17. 01:40
    

    Renée ?

    it is now

18. 01:42
    

    Marian ?

    oh renee renee i have to talk to you sit down it's Renee, to you, food is a substitute for love you overeat because you feel that you're unloved but that's not true dear I like you Sarah Lee loves you and I know your husband must worship the ground you stomp on

19. 02:17
    

    Renée ?

    all right Marion you wanted the truth I'll tell you the truth the my husband does love me he adores me he worships the ground I walk on and that's my trouble Marion you see I can't stand him. I loathe him. Oh, yes, he's good. He's kind. He's considerate. He He's affectionate and it drives me crazy. I tell you, he can't keep his runs off of me. He follows me everywhere, to the supermarket, to the butchers, the bakers, the living room table, the dining room table. You wanted to know what my problem is, married. Well, I'll tell you. It's my marriage. It's bad, bad. bad! Ugh!

20. 03:28
    

    Marian ?

    Chins up, Renee! get Well, your face out of there you'll suffocate

21. 03:42
    

    Renée ?

    I suppose my eating problem all began right after the wedding. You see, I ate all the rice. I just kept up from there. Yes, he loved me. I didn't love him. Food problems, problems, food, food, problems. Well, that is the end of my story, Marion. I hope I haven't bored you.

22. 04:07
    

    Renée ?

    Mary? Marion? I'm

23. 04:34
    

    Marian ?

    Oh, Rene, Rene, I'm going to help you. look into my eyes

24. 04:39
    

    Renée ?

    yes

25. 04:39
    

    Marian ?

    now you must just keep your mind off food you will not think about food

26. 04:47
    

    Renée ?

    i'll try there's the ding dong oh i love ding dongs all chocolatey

27. 04:54
    

    Marian's Daughter ?

    mother don't

28. 05:01
    

    Marian ?

    Hello. Who are you?

29. 05:03
    

    Marian's Daughter ?

    Mother, don't you recognize me

30. 05:08
    

    Marian ?

    mother i i don't remember having a son

31. 05:12
    

    Marian's Daughter ?

    i'm not your son i'm your daughter

32. 05:14
    

    Marian ?

    don't tell me tell your hairdresser

33. 05:18
    

    Marian's Daughter ?

    really really mom this is the new unisex look completely hairless

34. 05:23
    

    Marian ?

    hairless and careless

35. 05:32
    

    Marian ?

    tell me is it a boy or a girl

36. 05:34
    

    Marian's Daughter ?

    really mother this is 1970 it's up to the baby when it's 21 it decides for itself

37. 05:42
    

    Marian ?

    Wonderful.

38. 05:43
    

    Marian's Daughter ?

    well I have to run along now I have a heavy date tonight and I haven't even even shaved.

39. 05:47
    

    Marian ?

    Well, I guess they can't all be like Julie Nixon. Now then, where were we? Oh, yeah, sorry.

40. 06:00
    

    Renée ?

    Well, you see, Marion, I don't think my eating problem will ever be over until I break up with Marvin. That's him, Marion. I recognize his ugly ring.

41. 06:10
    

    Marian ?

    Okay, calm down. I've never met Marvin, but I'm sure no one could be that bad.

42. 06:19
    

    Marvin ?

    Hello, I'm Marvin, Renee's husband.

43. 06:22
    

    Marian ?

    his ring His ring may be ugly, but the rest of him is beautiful.

44. 06:29
    

    Marvin ?

    Oh, Renee. Renee, my darling. I'm so glad I found you. I was so afraid you were lost forever. Oh, Renee, sweetheart, please come home. That big house is so empty without you, and I'm so lonely I don't know what to do.

45. 06:43
    

    Renée ?

    Marvin, leave me alone.

46. 06:48
    

    Marvin ?

    Oh, Renee, sweetheart, please come home. That big house is so quiet without you. I miss all the little sounds you made, the refrigerator door slamming, The electric can opener The blender The crunching and the munching

47. 07:03
    

    Renée ?

    Oh, Marion, please tell him to leave me alone

48. 07:06
    

    Marian ?

    Yes, I will Come, Marvin, this way

49. 07:09
    

    Marvin ?

    No, no, Renee Please, come back to me I love you, I miss you I've saved up a thousand kisses And I have nobody to give them to

50. 07:16
    

    Marian ?

    Come upstairs, Marvin

51. 07:17
    

    Renée ?

    Marvin! Marvin, get this straight once and for all I find you repulsive

52. 07:27
    

    Marvin ?

    all right Renee very well I can see that it's all over between us but there's just one last thing that I want to say to you before I go

53. 07:41
    

    Renée ?

    what is it

54. 07:41
    

    Marvin ?

    fat fat the water rat

55. 07:45
    

    Renée ?

    I'm I'm shocked I mean I'm really shocked all All these years living with him, I didn't know he could sing. Oh, Marion, Marion, please, you've got to help me get a divorce lawyer.

56. 08:09
    

    Divorce Lawyer ?

    I'm Hello, I'm a divorce lawyer.

57. 08:13
    

    Renée ?

    At last.

58. 08:14
    

    Divorce Lawyer ?

    Yes, I was just chasing an ambulance and I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. Now, for $5,000, I could offer you the best divorce package in Reno. You will stay at the best hotel where you will be entertained nightly by such divorce celebrities as Liz Taylor's Eddie Fisher, Eddie Fisher's Connie Stevens, and everybody's Zsa Zsa Gabor. more.

59. 08:32
    

    Renée ?

    That sounds great, but it sounds very expensive.

60. 08:35
    

    Divorce Lawyer ?

    Well, how much money did you want to spend?

61. 08:36
    

    Renée ?

    Oh, about $25.

62. 08:38
    

    Divorce Lawyer ?

    My dear, for $25, all I can get for you is a boxed lunch and a street map of Tijuana.

63. 08:44
    

    Renée ?

    What about the quickest divorce? What's that one?

64. 08:46
    

    Divorce Lawyer ?

    My Mexican special.

65. 08:47
    

    Renée ?

    Is it really quick?

66. 08:48
    

    Divorce Lawyer ?

    Si, senora. Sign here. Gracious senorita. That'll be $300.

67. 08:54
    

    Renée ?

    Oh, would Would you take my wedding ring?

68. 08:56
    

    Divorce Lawyer ?

    Oh, I'll say. Hmm. Not bad. You have change coming.

69. 09:04
    

    Renée ?

    You're welcome.

70. 09:08
    

    Divorce Lawyer ?

    Oh, it's my lucky day. Another accident. Whiplash! Whiplash! Whiplash!

71. 09:16
    

    Marian ?

    Well, Well, Renee, now that you're a free woman again, I do hope you've made the right decision.

72. 09:23
    

    Renée ?

    What do you mean?

73. 09:24
    

    Marian ?

    My dear, I've been a widow now for 12 years, and believe me, I know it's not easy to find another man here in Canoga Falls.

74. 09:31
    

    Renée ?

    Well, with my face and figure, I figured that shouldn't be a problem. Now I'm sure the man will just be banging down my door.

75. 09:40
    

    Renée ?

    I said banging, not banging.

76. 09:47
    

    Bakery Chain Owner ?

    Some enchanted evening, you will see a stranger. You will see a stranger across a crowded room.

77. 09:54
    

    Renée ?

    Hello.

78. 09:56
    

    Bakery Chain Owner ?

    Hello, young lover, whoever you are. Do you live around here? I have often walked down this street before, but the pavement always stayed beneath my...

79. 10:06
    

    Renée ?

    Hold it, Tristan. What do you... What do you do for a living?

80. 10:12
    

    Bakery Chain Owner ?

    I own a chain of bakeries.

81. 10:16
    

    Renée ?

    I'm getting married in the morning. Ding dong, those bells are going to chime.

82. 10:25
    

    Marian ?

    Wait! Before you go out that door, there's something I have to tell you.

83. 10:34

    What is it that Marion has to say? And what about Renee? What will her new husband do when he finds out she has a sweet tusk? And what about Renee's ex-husband, Marvin? Will he wish her well, or will he come after her with a harpoon? And what about Marion's runaway daughter? Will she buy herself a blonde wig, or do baldies have more fun? And what about the unethical lawyer? Will he be exposed before or after he's nominated for the Supreme Court? And And what about Marion? Will she finally find romance? who is the muscular stranger about to enter her life? For Well, the answer to these and other questions rated X, tune in tomorrow as the stomach turns.