Half Wits

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:04

   Each

2. 00:05

   Speaker 1

   It's time for the new nighttime version of Halfwits. And here's the star of Halfwits, Alex Trebell.

3. 00:11

   Trevelle!

4. 00:13
   

   Alex Trebel

   Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Johnny Ola, and good evening, everybody. Welcome to Halfwits, the game show that's fun and at times extremely trying. If you've been with us for the past two weeks, you'll know that our contestants are all tied for the lead. All at zero. No correct answers thus far. Two weeks, nothing even remotely correct. But we're hoping to break that deadlock tonight. But first, let's meet our contestants. Darren Peele. Darren Peele Darren good to have you back

5. 00:42
   

   Darren Peel

   thank you Alec and we'd like to have you over for dinner real soon

6. 00:45
   

   Alex Trebel

   uh-huh now Darren you were telling us you're in machine parts is that correct

7. 00:49
   

   Darren Peel

   that is correct Alec I search ball bearings for a living I have two pails at work in one pail I'll put good ball bearings and in the other I'll put the bad ones

8. 00:58
   

   Alex Trebel

   sounds like a demanding job

9. 01:00
   

   Darren Peel

   it is for me

10. 01:01
    

    Alex Trebel

    now Darren you're a family man is that correct

11. 01:03
    

    Darren Peel

    and is correct Alec I've I've got two wonderful parents. I have a mother and a father, and I have another brother whose name is Darren.

12. 01:12
    

    Alex Trebel

    What I meant to say was you have a family of your own?

13. 01:16
    

    Darren Peel

    I don't follow you.

14. 01:19
    

    Alex Trebel

    Do you have a wife? Do you have children? Do you have a family of your own?

15. 01:22
    

    Darren Peel

    Your own family? Oh, Pat, sure I do. Sure I do. I have a wonderful wife and two boys named Frank.

16. 01:28
    

    Alex Trebel

    Well, good to have you here, Darren. Good luck to you.

17. 01:30
    

    Darren Peel

    Well, thank you very much, Alec.

18. 01:31
    

    Alex Trebel

    Blanche Ray. Blanche, good to have you here.

19. 01:33
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    That is correct, Alex.

20. 01:35
    

    Alex Trebel

    Now, Blanche, you were-

21. 01:35
    

    Darren Peel

    Like, did I mention my, my, my wife?

22. 01:38
    

    Alex Trebel

    I'm sorry, Darren?

23. 01:39
    

    Darren Peel

    My wife. Did I mention her by any chance?

24. 01:41
    

    Alex Trebel

    You did, yes. You mentioned the wife and the, uh, the two boys.

25. 01:44
    

    Darren Peel

    Named Frank.

26. 01:45
    

    Alex Trebel

    That's right, yes.

27. 01:46
    

    Darren Peel

    Thank you. Just checking.

28. 01:47
    

    Alex Trebel

    Very, very good. Now, Blanche, you're a secretary, is that right?

29. 01:50
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    That's correct, Alex. I work for Mr. Hargrove.

30. 01:53
    

    Alex Trebel

    I see. And what, uh, line of work is your employer in?

31. 01:58
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    He's the boss.

32. 02:01
    

    Alex Trebel

    Blanche, you're telling us that, uh, you're single, is that right?

33. 02:04
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    That's correct, Alex. I'm unattached.

34. 02:07
    

    Alex Trebel

    Well, good to have you here, Blanche, and good luck to you tonight.

35. 02:09
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    Thank you, Alex.

36. 02:10
    

    Alex Trebel

    Arthur Andrew Liggett.

37. 02:12
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Hi, Alex.

38. 02:13
    

    Alex Trebel

    Now, Arthur, you were telling us that you are in medical research. Would you care to tell us a little about that?

39. 02:18
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    I lied.

40. 02:20
    

    Alex Trebel

    I'm sorry?

41. 02:22
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    I lied. I thought it would sound good on TV.

42. 02:26
    

    Alex Trebel

    Well, what exactly do you do for a living, Arthur?

43. 02:30
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Well, it's a job. It's nothing special.

44. 02:32
    

    Alex Trebel

    What kind of a job?

45. 02:34
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Just a job, you know, a normal job.

46. 02:36
    

    Alex Trebel

    What do you do for a living?

47. 02:38
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Oh, I work.

48. 02:40
    

    Alex Trebel

    Where?

49. 02:41
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Oh, around.

50. 02:42
    

    Alex Trebel

    All right, I don't have time for this. Arthur, good to have you here.

51. 02:44
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Alex, I have a warehouse.

52. 02:45
    

    Alex Trebel

    That's fine, Arthur. I don't really care at this point. Lawrence Orbach. Arthur, I don't care what you do. Thank you. Now, Lawrence, you were telling us you're still in school.

53. 02:54
    

    Lawrence Orbach

    Right-o, Alex.

54. 02:55
    

    Alex Trebel

    Post-graduate work?

55. 02:57
    

    Lawrence Orbach

    No, high school. I'm having some degree of difficulty getting through high school.

56. 03:02
    

    Alex Trebel

    I see. Well, good to have you here.

57. 03:04
    

    Lawrence Orbach

    I'll do it.

58. 03:04
    

    Alex Trebel

    I'm sure you will, Lawrence.

59. 03:05
    

    Lawrence Orbach

    Because I have certain goals in life I feel compelled to complete.

60. 03:09
    

    Alex Trebel

    Very, very good.

61. 03:10
    

    Lawrence Orbach

    One of which is becoming a circuit court judge.

62. 03:13
    

    Alex Trebel

    Good. Good to have ambition.

63. 03:14
    

    Lawrence Orbach

    And the second is perhaps playing professional hockey.

64. 03:17
    

    Alex Trebel

    Good to have you here, Lawrence, and good luck to you tonight.

65. 03:19
    

    Lawrence Orbach

    Right-o, Alex, then.

66. 03:20
    

    Alex Trebel

    Now it's time to play Halfwits. If you remember, when the final buzzer went yesterday, Darren Peel had just picked the category Articles of Clothing Found in a Bedroom. And so we'll pick up where we left off. Darren, I'm looking for three articles of clothing found in a bedroom

67. 03:36
    

    Darren Peel

    coat coat hangers

68. 03:42
    

    Alex Trebel

    articles of clothing darren i'm sorry that answer is incorrect and that opens the door for blanche arthur and lawrence three articles of clothing found in a bedroom lawrence orbach

69. 03:57
    

    Lawrence Orbach

    chest of drawers alex

70. 04:00
    

    Alex Trebel

    listen to the question people i'm looking for articles of clothing that answer was incorrect blanche ray

71. 04:10
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    a parka

72. 04:14
    

    Alex Trebel

    a uh winter Deirdre Parker?

73. 04:17
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    That is correct, Alex.

74. 04:19
    

    Alex Trebel

    Judges? Incorrect, say the judges. I'm sorry, you have Arthur Andrew Liggett.

75. 04:26
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Alex Alex, what what do they call those things?

76. 04:34
    

    Alex Trebel

    We were looking for an answer here, Arthur.

77. 04:38
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Things?

78. 04:40
    

    Alex Trebel

    Arthur, we need an answer.

79. 04:44
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Quilts?

80. 04:47
    

    Alex Trebel

    No, I'm sorry, Arthur, that answer is incorrect. Quilts is wrong. I was looking for articles of clothing, pajamas, Pajamas, night shirts, night gowns, any article of clothing you might find hanging in a bedroom closet. No correct answers on that round. What else is new? So we move on to our next category, and Johnny Ola, tell everyone what our contestants could win on this round of Halfwits.

81. 05:10

    Speaker 1

    Our contestants will win seat covers. Attractive yet durable, clear vinyl seat covers. Yes, it's top-of-the-line protection for your car's interior. Seat covers from Vinyl World. They're the seat cover people. Back to you, Alex.

82. 05:25
    

    Alex Trebel

    And that fabulous prize could go to one of our contestants with one correct answer. And, Blanche Ray, we need a category.

83. 05:33
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    I'll take European cuisine, Alex.

84. 05:40
    

    Alex Trebel

    European cuisine. Now, listen carefully. I'm looking for one culinary dish from each of the following countries. First, Italy.

85. 05:51
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    Italy? Could Could it it be cheese omelets? Cheese omelette.

86. 06:02
    

    Alex Trebel

    Cheese omelets. Unbelievable. No, I'm sorry. That answer is incorrect.

87. 06:05
    

    Darren Peel

    Alex!

88. 06:06
    

    Alex Trebel

    People, do not wave your hands. Use your bells, please. Use your bells. Use your bells, please. Thank you. Darren Peel.

89. 06:13
    

    Darren Peel

    Is it spareribs?

90. 06:16
    

    Alex Trebel

    Spareribs. No, I'm sorry. That answer is incorrect. I'm looking for a dish from Italy. Lawrence Orbach.

91. 06:22
    

    Lawrence Orbach

    Swedish meatballs.

92. 06:25
    

    Alex Trebel

    Swedish meatballs. Lawrence, can I ask you a question? Where the hell do you think Swedish meatballs come from? Arthur Andrew Liggett.

93. 06:34
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Spain?

94. 06:35
    

    Alex Trebel

    Well, we seem to have exhausted that relatively simple category, so I tell you what I'm going to do. Instead of going into a third week with this particular group of contestants, I'm going to pick a number from one to ten. And the contestant that comes closest to that number, I will personally declare the winner. A number from one to ten will start with Darren Peele.

95. 06:58
    

    Darren Peel

    Twelve.

96. 07:00
    

    Alex Trebel

    A number from one to ten, Blanche Ray.

97. 07:03
    

    Blanche Ray Kellogg

    That's what I was going to say, twelve.

98. 07:04
    

    Alex Trebel

    I'm looking for a number from 1 to 10, Arthur Andrew Liggett.

99. 07:08
    

    Arthur Andrew-Leggett

    Oh, this is tough. Any number, Alex?

100. 07:11
     

     Alex Trebel

     Just pick a number!

101. 07:12
     

     Arthur Andrew-Leggett

     12?

102. 07:13
     

     Alex Trebel

     Lawrence Orbach!

103. 07:16
     

     Lawrence Orbach

     Now, I've lost track, Alex. Could you repeat the numbers that have already been taken?

104. 07:22
     

     Alex Trebel

     And we're out of time. So, I guess we'll go into a third week looking for a winner, looking for one correct answer, and looking for a new talent coordinator. Until then, I'm Alex Trevelle, And remember, a half-wit is sometimes better than no wit at all. Good night.

105. 07:40
     

     Darren Peel

     Pizza pie.

106. 07:42

     Keep Keep your distance!