Spicy Sushi

Peter and Nance settle into a North Portland sushi restaurant, but Peter freezes when the waiter lists spicy mayo among the ingredients. The waiter explains the menu's one-to-five chili scale, and the roll's modest two-chili rating sends Peter into a full-blown meltdown: he gulps water, begs for milk, claims the heat is erasing his memories and calls for an EpiPen before keeling over in slow motion. He wakes up in a bright white heaven, where a stammering Saint Peter, who looks a lot like him, welcomes him and breaks the news that the afterlife menu is limited to bland comfort food. Back on earth, Nance throws herself on top of him until he gasps back to life, and he rewards her by passing along Saint Peter's compliments on her posture.