The PM's Brief Briefing

At 10 Downing Street, the Prime Minister wants the latest opinion poll results, and his besotted private secretary Sebastian Love is happy to supply them. Amid genuine findings on Northern Ireland, health and crime, Sebastian slips in suspiciously personal ones: the public apparently wants to see the PM in cycling shorts, prefers him with damp hair, and would love to watch him wrestle other men. When the PM asks to see the figures himself, Sebastian distracts him by plucking a stray eyelash from his cheek. The PM's wife then breezes in with his evening clothes for a Treasury dinner, and Sebastian greets her with icy contempt. Left alone, the PM tries to end the meeting so he can change, but Sebastian finds one piece of urgent business after another to stay in the room while the trousers come off. When the PM finally ushers him out, Sebastian rushes back in, tackles him onto the sofa to shield him from an imaginary sniper, and refuses to let either of them get up.