Dame Sally Markham: The Lady in White

Outside a grand country house with some very rude topiary, the narrator introduces the home of Dame Sally Markham, a celebrated writer of romantic fiction. Sprawled on a chaise longue in a pink gown beside her fluffy white dog, she dictates the climax of her new novel to her bespectacled secretary, Miss Grace, who hammers it out on a typewriter. When she asks how long the book is, the answer falls far short, so she tacks on a dull trip to the shops and declares it finished. Reaching for a truffle, she finds the box suspiciously empty and accuses Miss Grace of helping herself. A second burst of padding, built around a very long television programme, still leaves the manuscript too thin, so the Dame gives up on it and briskly starts a brand-new book instead.