Stupid Deaths: Hans Steininger

After teasing one of his skeleton judges about a newly sprouted beard, Death calls up contestant 1567 and is astonished by the beard dragging behind him. The newcomer is Hans Steininger, a proud Austrian who keeps the beard as his pride and joy, and Death cannot resist a string of beard jokes about his accent and his facial hair. Hans explains that he normally rolled the beard into a ball and hopped along whenever he needed to run, but when a great fire swept through his town he panicked, forgot to roll it up and tripped over it, breaking his neck. Death fumbles a shaving pun, sends Hans through to the afterlife with a parting reminder to roll his beard up, then shares one last beard joke at the judges' desk before shouting for the next contestant.

Hans's contestant number, 1567, is the year he died. The real Hans Staininger (also spelled Steininger) was elected burgomaster of Braunau am Inn six times; his beard measured about 4.5 feet, and in 1911 his family donated it to a district museum in Lower Austria, where it is still kept.