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The Exorcist
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In Fast Forward's send-up of The Exorcist, a frantic mother calls in Father Karras and his inexperienced assistant, Father Kennedy, to deal with her daughter's latest possession. The girl's spinning head and levitation turn out to have everyday explanations, but the stream of colourful abuse pouring out of her convinces the priests that she harbours something even darker: Paul Keating. When crucifixes and holy commands fail, Karras calls on a higher power, and Bob Hawke arrives with Senator Graham Richardson at his side to cast out his old rival, only for Hawke's boastful rundown of the nation's economic woes to persuade Keating that he is better off staying inside the child.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Oh, that's not the devil. She's been eating Burger Rings again.
In the name of all that is sacred, I command that Paul Keating leave this child!
On second thoughts, Bob, you can keep the job. I'm staying in here.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Ted Emery
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Broadcast three months after Treasurer Paul Keating lost his June 1991 Labor leadership challenge to Prime Minister Bob Hawke and moved to the backbench; Keating replaced Hawke as Prime Minister that December.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:14
Father Karras ?
We came as quickly as we could
- 00:15
Mother ?
it's happened. She's possessed again.
- 00:18
Father Karras ?
How do you know she's possessed her?
- 00:26
Mother ?
Head's been spinning again She ate the cat this morning.
- 00:30
Yeah
- 00:30
Father Karras ?
My god, we may be too late
- 00:37
Father Karras
Kennedy come with me
- 00:42
Father Kennedy
Karis what hideous force could possess a young innocent girl to perform such vile degrading acts
- 00:49
Father Karras ?
Johnny Young
- 00:56
Father Kennedy ?
place stinks of vomit
- 00:57
Father Karras ?
i'm sorry that was me i've always hated that song
- 01:05
Father Karras
father kennedy prepare to exercise this poor possessed child
- 01:15
you're new to this aren't you father ken
- 01:19
Father Karras ?
what is it your place command you to depart it is he who commands you to depart he who stole the white god
- 01:39
Father Kennedy ?
she's levitating
- 01:40
Father Karras ?
the power of the devil is indeed mighty
- 01:43
Mother ?
oh that's not the devil she's been eating burger rings again
- 01:46
Father Karras ?
I have some good news and some bad news your daughter vomited all over your Kandon wallpaper it looks a lot better worse father Kennedy and I believe or suspect at least that she is possessed by a force even darker even more offensive from whose mouth pours the most vile filth we believe your daughter may be possessed by whole kitty
- 02:32
Possessed Daughter
shut your gob your maggot drenched bucket of sheep's guts you wouldn't know a giant girl from a jacuzzi your fart breathing scum
- 02:40
Father Kennedy ?
are you sure these ropes will hold her
- 02:43
Father Karras ?
well it seemed to work well enough on you last night
- 02:47
Father Kennedy ?
thought we agreed we wouldn't discuss that
- 02:49
Father Karras
you beg in the name of all that is sacred i command that paul keating leave this child
- 02:56
could you stop messing with that dimmer switch
- 03:04
Father Karras ?
come back no use is too strong i will have to summon an even greater force holiest of holies ohio
- 03:25
Bob Hawke
oh my bastard been giving me the shits ever since i cast him out of the kingdom of hawky now he used to sit on my right shoulder where of course now sits my true and faithful companion senator graham richardson
- 03:51
Graham Richardson ?
i've always loved you bob
- 03:53
Bob Hawke ?
oh that's right grey just keep playing the liar i want to be prime minister never only i can lead this country with its it's it's it's 160 billion dollar debt it's 10 unemployment it's collapsed rural and manufacturing sectors
- 04:15
Possessed Daughter
On second thoughts, Bob, you can keep the job. I'm staying in here.