Master Thespian (Jon Lovitz), a hammy Shakespearean actor, is hired to play Santa Claus at Macy's department store. Despite never having heard of Santa, he improvises the role while learning the character through mistakes. He scares children, annoys parents with philosophical questions about begging, forgets his lines, and ultimately fakes his own death. The sketch features Phil Hartman as the exasperated store manager who must constantly give him notes. The sketch parodies method acting and over-the-top theatrical performances.