In this classic holiday sketch, Steve Martin begins by expressing a seemingly heartfelt wish for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of peace and harmony. However, he quickly abandons this sentiment and reveals his true, increasingly absurd Christmas wishes, including tax-free cash in a Swiss bank account, all-encompassing power over the universe, a 31-day orgasm, and revenge on his enemies who should "die like pigs in hell." The sketch is performed as a solo piece directly to camera, with Martin maintaining a dead-serious tone as his wishes become more outrageous. He repeatedly dismisses his initial wish as "the crap about the kids."
