This sketch parodies infomercials by featuring the absurdly impractical "Tairy Greene Machine," a Cinco product that contains every work by actor Tairy Greene. Eric arrives at Tim's condo with his hands wrapped in bandages, having sliced them open. Tim demonstrates the machine, which is positioned awkwardly high, requires Tairy Tokens to operate, needs carefully calibrated tap water temperature, and demands users type in eight-digit codes to access shows like "The Snuggler," "Little Dancin' Man," and "The Hoses." The sketch includes cutaways to Tairy Greene's various fictional works, with celebrity cameos performing songs about the shows. The machine exemplifies Cinco's trademark of creating the most impractical products possible.