A musical comedy sketch that serves as the cold open for the first episode of Portlandia. Two friends from Los Angeles, Jason and Melanie, discuss Portland, Oregon as an alternative universe where the counterculture of the 1990s never died. Jason, who has just returned from Portland, explains to Melanie that it's a city where young people go to retire, where people are content to be unambitious, sleep until eleven, and work only a couple hours a week at a coffee shop. The sketch features a music video-style production number with Jason singing and walking through Portland with hipsters, clowns, street performers, a choir, and a marching band. The sketch satirizes Portland's reputation as a haven for eccentric hipsters who embrace 90s nostalgia, earnestness, and authenticity.


| Person | Role | |
|---|---|---|
| Fred Armisen | Writer | |
| Carrie Brownstein | Writer | |
| Jonathan Krisel | Writer | |
| Allison Silverman | Writer | |
| Jonathan Krisel | Director |