George Washington (Nate Bargatze) rallies his soldiers (Kenan Thompson, Mikey Day, Bowen Yang, James Austin Johnson) as they cross the Delaware River in 1776. Washington shares his dreams for America's future, this time focusing on the peculiar quirks of American English. He explains confusing linguistic choices like having a special word "dozen" for only the number 12, spelling words two different ways (like "doughnut" and the names "Jeff" and "Geoff"), and giving animals different names when they become food (cows become "beef," pigs become "pork," but chickens stay "chicken"). He also discusses oddly-named American foods like hamburgers (made of beef, not ham), buffalo wings (made of chicken, not buffalo), and hot dogs (contents unknown). The sketch satirizes the illogical aspects of American culture and language that founding fathers could never have anticipated.
