George Washington (Nate Bargatze) gathers his Revolutionary War soldiers at Valley Forge in 1777 and tells them his vision for the new country. In a deadpan comedic delivery, Washington describes America's future system of weights and measurements, explaining confusing choices like having 5,280 feet in a mile, using both Fahrenheit and Celsius temperature scales, and the complexities of American football measurements. The sketch hilariously addresses America's quirky customs and historical contradictions, including Washington awkwardly avoiding direct questions about slavery from one of his Black soldiers (Kenan Thompson).
